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Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenegger are in an airplane. There are lots of kids on the plane with them.
Suddenly an engine catches fire. The plane is going to crash. Realising this, Arnie and Michael grab the only two parachutes on the plane.

“What about the kids’” asks Michael

“F**k the kids” Arnie replies

Michael thinks for a moment and says

“Do you think we have time’”

Resolving to surprise her husband, Katie Holmes stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, Tom Cruise dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.”

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?
A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.

Q. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?

A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Pamela Anderson went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. “Darn, he recognized me,” she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color,
new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

“I would like to buy this TV.” “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. Frustrated, Pamela exclaimed “How do you know
I’m a blonde’” “Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.



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