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Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?
A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that “no means no”?

Pink gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ‘That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!’ Pink goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ‘The driver just insulted me!’ The man says: ‘You go right up there and tell him off ‘ go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.’

Q: How did they find Sonny Bono’s body?

A: Sonny side up.

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, “Is God male or female?”
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, “Well, honey, God is both male and female.”
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, “Is God black or white?”
“Well, God is both black and white.”
This further confuses him so he asks, “Is God gay or straight?”
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, “Honey, God is both gay and straight.”
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, “Mom, is God Michael Jackson?”

Q: What were Michael Jackson’s baby’s first words?

A: Which one’s Mommy?



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