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Kate Hudson along with two other blonde friends were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks.

The first blonde said, “Those must be deer tracks!”

The second blonde said, “No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!”

Kate said, “No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!”

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

Q: What’s the difference between Al Gore and Sonny Bono?

A: One’s a tree-hugging stiff… and the other’s a tree-hugging stiff.

The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, “I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand.” The Pope says, “No way. You can’t do that.”
The Queen says, “Watch this.”
So the Queen waves her hand and every English person in the crowd goes crazy, waving their little plastic Union Jacks on sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic.

So the Pope is standing there thinking, “Uh oh, what am I going to do? I never thought she’d be able to do it.”
So he thinks to himself for a minute and then he turns to her and says,
“I bet you I can make every Irish person in the crowd go wild, not just now, but for the rest of the week, with just one nod of my head.”
The Queen goes, “No way, it can’t be done.”
So the Pope headbutts her.

Sarah Jessica Parker rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: ‘Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!’
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: ‘Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….’

Excited about his new project concept, a movie producer had called together several big name draws to kick some ideas around.
The project, an action docu-drama about famous composers featured Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwartzenegger in leading roles.
The producers really wanted the box office ‘oomph’ of these three, and they were prepared to allow them to select what famous composers they would portray.
“Well,” started Stallone, “I’ve always admired Mozart. I would love to play him.”
“Chopin has always been my favorite,” said Van Damme, I’ll play him.”
Things were going well; the producers were pleased.
“Sounds splendid. And who do you want to be, Arnold?”
“I’ll be Bach.”



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