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Paris Hilton, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, Paris.”

Paris Hilton then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning Paris checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. Paris Hilton looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Q: What will it take to reunite The Beatles?
A: Three more bullets.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley split up?

A: He wanted children and she didn’t want to get a sex change.

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