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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?

A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.

David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank, “I`d like to donate some sperm” he says to the receptionist.
“Certainly Sir” replies the receptionist, “have you donated before?”.
“Yes” replies Beckham “you should have my details on your computer”.
“Oh yes, I`ve found your details” says the receptionist “but I see you`re going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?”
“Why do I need help to donate sperm?” asks Beckham. The receptionist replies “Well, it says on your record that you`re a useless wanker…”

Q: What three golfers would you not want to be behind on a golf course?
A: O. J. Simpson because he’s a slicer, Monica because she’s a hooker, and Bill Clinton because he never knows what hole he’s on.

Q. Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes?

A. Neither did she.

Q: Did you hear about the new R Kelly KFC combo?

A: It is a 35 year old drumstick between two 14 year old thighs!

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