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Q. What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night?

A. She doesn’t, she eats out!

Terry Hatcher is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots Eva Longoria on the other side. She yells over to Eva “Hey, excuse me! How do I get over to the other side’” And after a quick survey of the river, Eva Longoria calls back “You ARE on the other side!”

Q: What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite hobby?
A: Blowing bubbles.

Q. What do you get when you cross Raquel Welch with Santa Claus?

A. A thank you from Santa!

Jessica Simpson went to Las Vegas to promote her new album “A Public Affair”…

Jessica Simpson was pluugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you’d expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too!

After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back at it she went, blocking the way to the other vending machines with the mounting pile of soda. All kinds. It didn’t seem to matter to the young lady.

People were starting to gather, seeing this beautiful woman enthusiastically plugging money in like it was fun. The people were gathering more though waiting their turn at the machines.

After watching a while, someone asked from the rear of the group, ‘Hey, how much soda does one blonde need’

‘Hey back off, buddy,’ she retorts, ‘can’t you see I’m winning here’

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