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Q. Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes?

A. Neither did she.

Q: Did you hear about the new R Kelly KFC combo?

A: It is a 35 year old drumstick between two 14 year old thighs!

Brad Pitt is at home watching a football game when Angelina Jolie interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway’ It’s been flickering for weeks now.”

He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light’ Now’ Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead’ I don’t think so.” “Well then, could you fix the fridge door’ It won’t close properly.”

To which he replies, “Fix the fridge door’ Does it look like I have a Westinghouse logo printed on my forehead’ I don’t think so.” “Fine,” she says, “Then, would you at least fix the steps to the front door’ They’re a mess and a real hazard.”

“I’m not a damn carpenter and I don’t want to fix the steps,” he says. “Does it look like I have a Black and Decker logo printed on my forehead’ I don’t think so.” He continued, “In fact, I’ve had enough of all your Bickering. I’m going to the bar!”

So, Brad Pitt goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. Sometime later, he starts to feel guilty about his treatment of Angelina, so he decides to return home and help out with the chores.

As he walks into the house, he notices the steps have been repaired. Then, as he enters the house, he notices the hall light is working again. And, to top
it off, when he goes to get a beer from the fridge, he notices the fridge door has been fixed.

“Honey, how’d this all get fixed’”

Angelina Jolie replies, “Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then, a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either have sex with him or bake him a cake.”

“So, what kind of cake did you bake him’” asks the husband.

“Hellooooooo!” she replies emphatically, “Do you see a Betty Crocker logo printed on my forehead’ I don’t think so!”

Q. Hear about Kennedy Airlines?

A. Their motto is “Your luggage will arrive before you do!”

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?
A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that “no means no”?

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