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Eva Longoria walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ‘I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door’
‘Why sure,’ said the manager, ‘we have something that works especially well for that.’

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how Eva Longoria was doing and he heard another voice. ‘No, no! A little to the left,’ said her friend inside the car.

ONe day, Al Gore, George W and Raplph Nader were eating lunch at a resturatunt.
They paid the check, then went to the bathroom.

On their way in, an attendant told them that the mirror in the bathroom would hold you until you said something if you looked at it, and if you told the truth you would get a billion dollars. But if you lied, youd be trapped in the mirror forever.

Ralph finished first, and looked at the mirror. Trapped, he said “i think i am the smartest one in this bathroom” and he got a billion dollars. Then Al Gore looked at the mirror and said, “i think i have the biggest ego in this bathroom” and he got a billion dollars. Then George looked at the mirror and siad, “i think-” and FWOOSH! he was trapped in the mirror.

Q. Have you heard about Michael Jackson’s new book?

A. It’s called, “The In’s and Out’s of Child Rearing”

Lindsay Lohan calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City'” The agent replies, “Just a minute…” “Thank you,” the Lindsay Lohan says, and hangs up.

Q. Did you hear about the latest JFK Jr. movie?

A. Its called Three Funerals and a Wedding.

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