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Read all jokes from:Sport (+1016)
The ball had been knocked out of the stadium into the lane and everybody was out looking for it.
Read all jokes from:Sport (+1016)
If Tyson gets banned for life, he could always become a barber. Think about it: You could walk into his shop and say, “Hey, Mike! Could you take a little off the ears?”
Read all jokes from:Baseball (+51)
On a recent tour of the United States, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the Florida coastline on an impromptu sightseeing trip. His 4×4 Pope-mobile was driving along the beautiful shoreline when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene, the Pope noticed in the water a hapless man wearing a Chicago Cubs baseball jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a huge shark. At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing White Sox jerseys roared into view from around the point. Immediately, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark’s ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Cubs fan from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semiconscious man into the boat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was the Pope summoning them to the beach. After they reached the shore, the Pope praised them for the rescue and said, “I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there was bitter hatred between the people of south and north sides of Chicago, but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of true harmony and could serve as a model on which others could follow.” He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust. As he departed, the harpooner asked the others, “Who was that?” “That,” one answered, “that was the Holy Father, His Holiness the Pope, the head of the Roman Catholic Church and the spiritual leader of millions of faithful Christians around the world.” “Well,” the harpooner replied, “He doesn’t seem to know diddley about shark fishing. Is the bait holding up okay or do we need to get another one?”
Read all jokes from:Sport (+1016)
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning.
Read all jokes from:Golf (+379)
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first said. “Did he do a good job?” “Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot,” he said. “The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That,” he added, “was the first time in two years my teeth didn’t hurt.”
Read all jokes from:College (+414), Football (+144)
(Time Limit: 3 Weeks) 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one) 5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8. What are people in America’s far north called? 9. Spell — Bush, Carter and Clinton 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five. 11. Where does rain come from? 12. Can you explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity? 13. What are coat hangers used for? 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country? 15. Explain Le Chatelier’s Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS. 16. Where is the basement in a three story building located? 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges? 18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have? 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for? *You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify*
Read all jokes from:Sport (+1016)
Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a “Hey, lady,” yells Larry, “Throw me the cat.” “No,” she cries, “It’s too far.” “I play football, I can catch him.” The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his
Read all jokes from:Sport (+1016)
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel,
Read all jokes from:Football (+144)
A Colts fan and Bears fan collide in a huge accident on the way to Miami. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt. “This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends.” says the Bears fan. “I agree,” replies the Colts fan. The Bears fan then returns to the wreckage of his car and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving. “Look,” he says to the Colts fan, “this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival” He hands the bottle over to the Colts fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Bears fan, who then puts the top back on and returns the bottle to his car. “Aren’t you having any?” asks the Colts fan. “No,” replies the Bears fan, “I think I’ll wait ’til the police get here.”
Read all jokes from:Golf (+379)
A man goes to the confessional. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” “What is your sin, my child?” the priest asks back. “Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible.” “When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest. “I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.” “Is that when you swore?” “No, Father.” Said the man. “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.” “Is THAT when you swore?” asked the priest again. “Well, no,” said the man, “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!” “Is THAT when you swore?” asked the amazed priest. “No, not yet.” The man replied. “As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball.” “Did you swear THEN?” asked the now impatient priest. “No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole.” “You missed the damn putt, didn’t you?” sighed the priest.
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