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Rules of Play
Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and
two balls.
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out of the
For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are
permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is
satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in
denied permission to play
the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course.
The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire
course, with special
attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently
playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have
been known to
damage a player’s equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly
when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players
have been known to
become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they
considered to be a private
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be
embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.
Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find
alternate means of play
at this time.
Players are advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before
attempting to play the
back nine.
Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker
pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the
same course several
times in one month.

Q: How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one. Blonds will screw anything.

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because
he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest
and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the
Bible, the priest says, “My son, after an exhaustive search, I
am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted
on Sundays.” The man thinks: “What does a priest know
about sex?” So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a
married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the
minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and
therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he
seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition
and knowledge. The Rabbi ponders the question, then
states, “My son, sex is definitely play.” The man
replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others
tell me sex is work?” The Rabbi softly speaks, “My son, if sex
were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A: His hand caught fire.

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods, so she ran up to him, knocked him flat on his back. Sat on his face, and yelled, “Lie to me, lie to me!”

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