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Q: What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?
A: To put your gum in on the way down.

Q: How do faggots get a condom off?
A: They fart.

A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him since he only had 24 hours to live.
“Of course Darling,” she replied.
And so they have sex.
Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again and says, “you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?”
Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex.
Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. He taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, “You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?”
By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.
After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, “Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?”
She turns to him with a sour look on her face and says, “You know… you don’t have to get up in the morning. I do!!!”

This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue’s starting to feel good in her mouth.

Q: What do a moped and a blonde have in common?

A: They’re both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

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