The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.
She said “Well, he was a big muscular and handsome sailor.”
“Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked.
She said, “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much. So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either. Finally I said, well how much do you have? The sailor said that he only had $25. So I told him for $25 all I can do is service you by hand. He agreed and after getting the finance straight, he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand.”
“Oh my god!” they all exclaimed, “It must have been huge. Then what did you do?”
“I loaned him $75!” she said.
Q: What do lesbians do after an argument?
A: They go home and lick each others wounds.
One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the
house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband
was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and
started to masturbate.
She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband
walked in, she was writhing in the middle of the living room floor.
He glanced through the mail and said to his wife, “Honey, when you’re
finished vacuuming the floor, could you get started on dinner?”
An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the
night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. “Oh honey”, said the
young nymph, “Does that mean we’re going to do it three times?” “No”, said
the old man, “It means you can take your pick.”
Q: What’s the difference between men and women?
A: Women must play hard to get; men must get hard to play!