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15. 180 degrees shy of heaven

14. Performing with Flacido Domingo

13. A few parts shy of an erector set

12. Sch-wing and a miss

11. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense

10. The Null Monte

9. Disappointing Miss Daisy

8. Taking the gold at the Lake Flaccid Olympics

7. Ascension Deficit Disorder

6. Bouncing the Check of Love

5. Less-than-Magic Johnson

4. All Doled up with nowhere to go

3. Welcome to Flaccid City. Population: You

2. Serving boneless pork

1. Unleavened Man-Bread

The two East Coast hookers decided to move to the West Coast and while driving through New Mexico they stopped at a little general store. Well, low and behold there were two older Indian women siting on the front porch and the four women started up a conversation.

The one older Indian woman said, “Well I’m a Navajo and she is an Arapaho.”

One of the East Coast hookers said, “No Shit, Well, I’m a New York Ho and she is a Chicago Ho.”

This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived, he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, “Oh yuck!!” she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband.

As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked, “What they don’t use those things where you come from?”

“Yeah,” she said “But we don’t skin ‘em!”

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his
friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?”

The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits
on top, and I bob her up and down.”

His friend says, “You know, that don’t sound too bad.”

The big guy says, “Well, it’s kind of like jerking off, only I got
somebody to talk to.”

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to
file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a
few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc.
and then asks, “What is your occupation?”
The woman replies, “I’m a whore.”
The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is
much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.”
“No, that is still too crude. Try again.”
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken
farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a
whore or a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”



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