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Q: How can you tell if you’ve stumbled into a lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool tables don’t have balls.

One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn’t until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he’ll run back for the soap. Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it.

He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots three nuns walking toward him. With nowhere to go, and hoping that the nuns will think he is a statue, he stands perfectly still, holding the two bars of soap.

The nuns approach and the first nun says, “Oh my, look at that! Isn’t that the most life-like statue you’ve ever seen?” She steps up for a closer look, reaches out and gives a couple of tugs on the priest’s weenie. Startled, he drops the first bar of soap.

“Oh Heavens,” she exclaims, “I got a bar of soap!”

The second nun is also amazed at how realistic the statue looks, so she steps in for a closer look. She takes a couple of yanks on the priest’s weenie, and he drops the other bar of soap.

“My goodness, I got a bar of soap also!”

The nuns can’t believe it.

The third nun, overcome by the miracle statue, walks up to it and gives a few tugs to the priest’s weenie.

“My God, this is amazing,” she says, “I got liquid soap!”

In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the
independent prosecutor’s team will drill Monica prior to her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.

Q: How do faggots get a condom off?

A: They fart.

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