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This little boy walks into a whorehouse with fifty buck in one hand, and a dead duck in the other. He walks up to the madam, and tells her he wants to buy the nastiest, cheesiest, sluttiest whore she’s got!

The madam, a little taken back by this, asks the little boy why he would want such a thing.

So he tells her he wants to catch the herpes.

She asks him what for?

So he tells her, that he wants to catch the herpes, so he can go home and give them to his sister.

The madam, totally flabbergasted, asks him to repeat what he just said.

So he says, “Thats right! I want to catch the herpes, so I can go home and give them to my sister, then she can give them to my dad, then he can give them to my mom and then my mom can give them to the mailman, cause thats the son of a bitch that killed my duck!!!”

There’s a hooker in my cooker,
and boy, she is a quite a looker!
It started out, all last night,
when there was a great fight.

A guy was sporting a leopard-skin coat,
the girl was screaming like a goat.
The guy asked if I wanted a piece,
I said, “Good Lord, that cooch smells like cheese!”

The pimp swore that she was clean,
he also stated that she was mean.
So I took him up on that,
$45.00? For a bitch that fat?

We strolled up on up to my room
When the neighbors heard a SONIC BOOM!
The bed we were on, seemed to have broke,
God-Almighty, I popped that girl’s yolk!

Then all of a sudden she started to scream,
I yelled, “OMIGOD, I’m gonna cream!”
My sheets were drenched in semen and sweat,
I said, “Damn, bitch, yer twat’s wet!”

She got on all fours, and begged for more
I thought to myself, “Damn, what a whore!?”
So I got behind her, and gave her my stuff,
She began to huff and puff, then later she got rough.

She turned herself around, and showed me her tit
I said, “C’mon, baby, lemme get a little bit!”
She said, “Damn, baby, NOT SO HARD!”
So we started again, her tits shook like a tub-a-lard.

When we were done, we decided to lay down
All was quiet, there wasn’t any sound…
Then all of a sudden, we heard a knock at the door,
The people outside screamed, “Where is that whore?!”

I said, “Hurry up, bitch, get in the oven!”
She said, “C’mon, honey, quit wit’ da shovin!”
I let the people in, and they snooped around
They ask the question, “And who owns this gown?”

They said it must be hers, it smells like cheese!
I said, “C’mon guys, get out please.”
They asked what was the scent coming from the cooker,
I said to myself, “They’re gonna find that hooker!”

I said, “Its nothing, just my extra cheesy pizza.”
Someone yelled, “I betcha it’s that bitch Mitsa!”
They said, “Open the oven, we gotta take a look,”
I said, “C’mon guys, I gotta let my pizza cook!”

All of a sudden, I had a gun in my face,
“If you don’t open that oven, you’re brains will be all over the place”
I became scared, so I reached for a pot,
The last thing I heard was that gun shot.

When I woke up, I was laying in cream
And to my astonishment, it was a wet dream
I went to the kitchen to get a coffee-cup,
I heard a sound in the oven, I wonder what’s up…

I grab a knife, and slowly walk over
I think to myself, “Damn what’s that odor?”
I open the door, and to my dismay,
There was that bitch, saying, “I WANT MY PAY!”

Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: “Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that’s 150, you’ll get a 25% discount!”
The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other: “We could eat the 30, I suppose.”

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of
hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with
their pinkies and say “Hi there little boy!!”

One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always
wave at him with their pinkies. They reply: “well, that is what size
we imagine your penis to be… it is just a joke!”

The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The
young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all
his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, “HI

It was a somber day in Disney land, Mickey And Minnie were in divorce court..
The judge was about to make his decision he said ‘Im sorry mickey, I cant
grant you a divorce based on your statement that Minnie has prominant teeth”

Mickey retorted ” I DIDNT SAY SHE had prominent teeth, I SAID SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY!!

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