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A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical
island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a
beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes
up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty
years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, “Well,
what did you do for love?” He says, “Love? What’s that?” She says, “I’ll
show you.” She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him
one more time. When they’re finally done, she says, “Well, how do you like
love?” He says, “It’s great. But look what you did to my clam digger.”

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s
apartment.
“I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,”
said the woman, “especially with the size difference and all.”
“Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs
apart and close your eyes,” said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest
thing she’d ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
“If you think that was good,” said the midget with a smirk, “Just
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!”

It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president
had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back
of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.
“And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded his wife,
when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
“Down at the office,” he replied, “working like a dog.”

Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the
local bar. One said, “Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.” His
friend replied, “Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose
women’ ya always hear about.” “You don’t say.” said the first
man. “Bet that was costly.” “Nope.” Jeb smirked. “Kinfolk.”at the
local bar. One said, “Heard ya went to the big city Jeb.” His
friend replied, “Yep. Even tried me out one of those ‘loose
women’ ya always hear about.” “You don’t say.” said the first
man. “Bet that was costly.” “Nope.” Jeb smirked. “Kinfolk.”

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Great Gate, Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Pete decided to let him in. “Follow me,” he said, opening the gate and walking in.

After some walk, Saint Pete’s keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn’t resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. Saint Pete was furious. “If you do that again, you’ll go straight to hell! But follow me, we’re almost there.”

After some more walk, Pete dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Pete was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Pete drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Pete is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Pete goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off.

“Why is it so damn cold down here?” Pete asks.

“Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!” the devil replied.



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