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Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents’ bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall towards his parents room. Before he made it to the end of the hall, the noises had ceased and the bathroom light had gone on. Little Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw his father removing a used condom.
“Daddy, what are you doing?” asked little Johnny.
His father looked around nervously wondering what he could tell his son.
“I, um, I’m just checking out the bathroom for mice.” replied his father.
Johnny looked at his father with a gaze of confusion and said, “Well, what are you doing? Fucking them?”

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods, so she ran up to him, knocked him flat on his back. Sat on his face, and yelled, “Lie to me, lie to me!”

Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!

Q: How do you get Visual Aids?
A: From a nasty poke in the eye.

Brunette after sex: “Oh that was great! Love you… wanna marry?”
Blonde after sex: “Next!”
Redhead after sex: “Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.”

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