A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”
He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request.
She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.”
Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, “Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.”
He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.
She replied, “If I told you, you would only laugh.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he said.
She said, “I sell tampons.”
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said, “See, I knew you would laugh.”
“That’s not what I’m laughing at,” he replied. “I’m a toilet paper salesman, so I’m STILL one hole behind you!”
There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well-
endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force
doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to
remedy the situation. The first doctor said, “We’ll just take a
big hunk off the end.” They discussed it and decided that
would affect his sensitivity.
The second doctor said, “We’ll just take a big hunk out of the
middle of it.” They discussed this, and decided it would change
the texture and feel of it.
The third doctor said, “We’ll just take a big hunk off the base of
it.” They discussed this, too, and agreed that it might give him
The doctors heard a sniffling, and looked over at the nurse who
had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, “Can’t we
just make his legs longer?”
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said “Please give me a
prescription for the Pill.”
“I don’t think you need the Pill at your age.”
“It relaxes me.”
“But you know the ‘purpose’ of the Pill. It’s not for
relaxing,” exclaimed the physician.
“I know,” said Mrs Ogden, “but my daughter dates, and every
morning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feel
Q: What did the blonde say after sex?
Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?