1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
5. I know when you’ve been bad or good… so let’s skip the small talk, sister!
6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.
7. Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)
8. I see you when you’re sleeping… and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?
9. Screw the “nice” list – I’ve got you on my “naughty” list!
10. Wanna join the “Mile High” club?
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic?
A: Snap-on tools!
Cop coming upon a young couple making out…
Cop: What the hell are you two doing?
Boy: We’re necking.
Cop: Well stick your neck back in your pants and get out of here.
Rules of Play
Each player shall provide his own equipment – normally one club and
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out of the
For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are
permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is
satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in
denied permission to play
the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course.
The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire
course, with special
attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played,
or are currently
playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have
been known to
damage a player’s equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players
have been known to
become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they
considered to be a private
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be
embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.
Players are advised to be
extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find
alternate means of play
at this time.
Players are advised to obtain the course owner’s permission before
attempting to play the
Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker
pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner’s request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the
same course several
times in one month.
Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.