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Q: What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?
A: To put your gum in on the way down.

I know I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for
this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t had it for a while
and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and
soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you
can satisfy my needs and I’d be very grateful if you would. I am very
desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot
of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all
the juices until it’s very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush
any longer so…

Do you have a piece of gum?

There are these two gay guys who decide they want to have a baby. So they found an obliging lesbian, have her impregnated by sperm donation, and are simply thrilled when she gives birth to a seven-pound baby boy.

They rush to the hospital for the first viewing of their son, standing with their noses pressed against the glass of the nursery window and surveying the row upon row of squalling infants. Except for one quiet, clean little baby, cooing softly to itself amid all the chaos.

Sure enough, when the gays ask to see their son, the nurse heads for the quiet baby and brings him over for the proud parents to ogle. “Gee,” said one of them to the nurse, “He sure is well behaved compared to the rest of those howling brats, isn’t he?”

“Oh, he’s quiet now,” said the nurse, “But he squalls like all the rest when I take the pacifier out of his ass.”

Q: Why did the blond prostitute think she was a poet?

A: Because she layed and he paid

Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter
says:”You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in.” The second says:”I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands.” St. Peter:”Wash both your hands and go in.
Suddenly the
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What’s going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in
there.



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