The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid.
“Now what about the butler?” the rich woman said.
“A set of wine glasses?” the maid suggested.
The woman frowned icily. “He doesn’t really need that. A butler never entertains. He’ll get a tie.”
The maid grimaced, but said only, “What about a dress for Jenny, the serving girl?”
The woman frowned again. “She doesn’t really need a new dress. She’ll only get in trouble. We’ll get her another apron.”
The conversation continued in the same vein, and the maid was chafing at her employer’s arrogance when they reached her husband.
“I assume you want to get him something he really needs, madam?” the maid replied.
“Of course,” the woman replied.
“Then what about five more inches?”
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the
independent prosecutor’s team will drill Monica prior to her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.”
“Yeah what happened?” asked his friend.
The first guy replies, “Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn
out to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the
other. He realizes that the first one might get bored
watching, so he her asks what she’d like to do.
She says, “Is that a trombone in the corner? I’d love
to play your trombone.”
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy’s
apartment building. One of the girls says, “Let’s stop
up and see that guy.”
The other girl says, “Gee… do you think he’d remember us?”