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Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in
one tent while the wives used the other.
At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, “Wow,
unbelievable!”
Which woke Ed.
“What’s going on?” said Ed.
“I’ve got to go to the other tent and find my wife.” said Ted.
“How come?” said Ed.
“To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I’ve ever had in my
life!” said Ted
After a pause, Ed said, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?” said Ted.
“Because that’s my dick you’re holding,” said Ed.

Q: What’s another term for cunnilingus?

A: Genital Slurpees.

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: Why are women like snow flakes?
A:
They are all beautiful.
They are all different.
They can all be cold as ice.
But they’ll all melt when they land on your face…

It’s 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The dealers agree.

She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m bottomless.”

With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of pants!”

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. “YES! I WIN! I WIN!”

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, “What did she roll anyway?”

The other answers, “I don’t know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!”



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