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A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.
“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!”
“Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion.
So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five
minutes they’re out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The
mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his
throat and said, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”
The mouse replied, “Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back
to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I’ve never had a night like it!”
“But how come you look like you’re so exhausted?” asked the lion.
“Well” said the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”

When I was growing up I used to lick all the kids on the block except for the Browns… They were boys.

Miss Annabelle has just returned from her big trip to New York City and is having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy’s mansion with her Southern Belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound.

“You just wouldn’t believe what they have there in New York City,” says Miss Annabelle. “They have men there who kiss other men on the lips.”

Miss Annabelle’s friends fan themselves and say, “Oh my! Oh my!”

“They call them homosexuals,” proclaims Miss Annabelle.

“They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!”

“Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls. “What do they call them?” they asked.

“They call them lesbians,” says Miss Annabelle.

“They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City,” sighs Miss Annabelle.

“Oh my! Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls as they sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. “What do they call them?” they ask in unison.

Miss Annabelle leans forward and says in a hush, “Why when I caught my breath, I called him ‘Precious’!”

Man to a woman: Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?
Woman: No
Man: Lets have lunch sometime…

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked.

“I wanna be weighed,” she said.

So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “One-twelve,” said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.

Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like to do.

“I wanna be weighed,” she said.

“I really latched onto a square one tonight,” thought the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.

The girl’s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked,

“What’s wrong, dear, didn’t you have a nice time tonight?”

“Wousy,” said the girl.



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