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An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, “Going to a party?”

“Yeah,” the man answered, “I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.”

“But you look like Abe Lincoln,” protested the barkeep.

“That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One … Men will screw anything.

Definition of bad lover:
An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

Q: How do you know a blond has been using your computer?
A: When the joy stick is wet!

“What’s this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Pam ?” said
her closest friend.

“Well,” Pam confirmed, “although his diamond was of pretty good
quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired.”

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