Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are
perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several
plain Janes walk by as the two converse.
Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and
saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and – barely audibly
- inquires, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”
The young beauty – startled by what she thinks she heard
- exclaims “What?!” Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats
“Typical nasty weather?” “Oh,” she demures, “yes,” and goes
on her way.
More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated.
“Tickle your ass with a feather?” “What?”
“Typical nasty weather?”
Finally, Romeo delivers his line,
“Tickle your ass with a feather?” and his prospect stops,
smiles and invites him up to her room.
Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention,
decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely
prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out,
“Cram a feather up your ass?”
Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which
he replies, “Looks like rain!”
A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his
friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?”
The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits
on top, and I bob her up and down.”
His friend says, “You know, that don’t sound too bad.”
The big guy says, “Well, it’s kind of like jerking off, only I got
somebody to talk to.”
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.
“Carrie’s not ready yet so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s cool,” says Bobby.
Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop and a movie.
Carrie’s father responds, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.”
Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he ask Carrie’s father to repeat it. “Yeah,” says Carrie’s father, “Carrie really likes to screw, she’ll screw all night if we let her!”
Well this just made Bobby’s eyes light up and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:
“DAMMIT DADDY! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST !!!!!!!!”
Q: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says: “This won’t hurt a bit.”
A schoolteacher says, “We’re going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right.”
An airline stewardess says, “Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath normally.”
Q: What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A: Brown-bagging it.