(This refers to the show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire)
After dinner Regis and his wife, Joy, retired to the bedroom. With high hopes, Regis asked Joy if she would like to make love.
She replied with her usual, “Not tonight, dear, I have a headache.”
“Hmmmm,” mused Regis, “is that your final answer?”
“Yes, it is,” replied Joy.
Regis thought this over for a moment and then asked, “I’d like to phone a friend.”
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” God said.
Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”
Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”
God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time.”
Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three
years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don’t know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it’s just that
I have a lot of trouble swallowing.
A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.
“Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very
dangerous beast out there!”
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was
the couple was doing.
“Well, err… if you must know, uh, they were practicing a
brand new form of artificial respiration… yeah, that’s it, it’s
“WOW!” exclaimed the oldest of the group. “I know which
merit badge I’m gonna try for next!”
One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate
trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on
shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold
a genie popped out.
“Greetings, Miss Lewinsky,” the genie said. “Since you have released me,
I will grant you one wish.”
“Well,” Monica replied, “I’m going to be on television alot for a while,
and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love
“Your wish is my command,” said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of
And her ears promptly fell off.