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Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redhead won’t accept a three and a half inch

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, “Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that’s come off of me fly? I canna button me pants. ”

“Oh Angus … I’ve got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it.”

About 5 minutes later there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling doon the stairs.

Walking back in the door with a blackend eye and a bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says, “My god, what happened to ya? Did you ask her like I told you?”

“Aye,” says Angus. “I asked her to sew on the wee button an she did. Everything was goin fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked in… “

Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?

A: It changes their blood type.

One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she draws a penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back of the room, Dirty Johnny stands and says “That’s a penis,and my father has two of them”.
The teacher looks surprised and asks “What do you mean,two?”
Dirty Johnny responds,”A little one to pee, and a big one to brush the moms teeth.”

Jon was looking for a little “action”. He picked up a sweet
young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth*
time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of

On the way out he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in
front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he
couldn’t find “it”.

After a couple of minutes “fishing around” he finally said, “Look,
it’s ok. She’s not here!”

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