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Q: Why can`t blondes water-ski?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Cisco is riding to work on the subway one day. The man across from him keeps staring and staring. Finally, Cisco says, “Look, do you mind not staring at me? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

The other man says, “I’m sorry…My name is Jake. I’m gay, you see, and I think you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I was wondering if you’d be interested in going out…”

Cisco chuckled to himself, flattered, and said. “I’m sorry, pal, but I’m a happily married man, and other men just have no appeal for me, but thanks for the offer.”

Jake continued, obviously totally smitten by Cisco. Finally, Cisco got fed up and exited the train a stop early, hoping to leave Jake behind, but the guy followed him all the way to his office. It just so happened that Cisco was a successful proctologist, and when Jake saw this, he was totally swept away.

He ran upstairs and immediately made an appointment for an examination. When Cisco came in to give the exam, he was surprised, but went ahead with the exam anyway. He was a professional, after all.

While Cisco was probing, Jake kept ‘ooo’ing and ‘aaahhh’ing and moaning with pleasure. Finally, Cisco got totally disgusted and ordered Jake to leave, because there was nothing wrong, and not to come back unless something was really wrong.

Well, a few weeks went by, and Jake showed up in the office again. Cisco tried to throw him out, but Jake insisted he had a legitimate problem. Cisco finally agreed to perform an exam. When Jake pulled his pants down, Cisco was shocked.

“My GOD! You have a dozen roses stuck in your butt!!!” He shouted.

And Jake replied “READ THE CARD! READ THE CARD!!!”

Did you hear about the guy that entered his dog at Crufts?
He got 16 months.

A guy says, “I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.”
“Yeah what happened?” asked his friend.
The first guy replies, “Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.”

In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
Without any clothes.

In this garden,
Were 2 little leaves,
One covered Adam’s
One covered Eve’s.

As the story goes on,
Nevertheless to say,
The wind came along,
And blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve’s treasure,
All covered with hair.

And wonder came,
Under Eve’s eyes,
As Adam’s thing,
Started to rise.

They found a spot,
That suited them best,
A nice big tree,
Where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
And wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.

The head of Adam’s thing,
Peeked into the hold,
And filled her with passion,
beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve’s treasure,
Was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
She wouldn’t let loose,
Until Adam’s thing,
Was all out of juice.

Then through the years,
People did screw,
And now it’s time,
for me and you.

So pull down you pants,
And lay in the grass,
‘Cuz I’m in the mood,
For a piece of that ASS!



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