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Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, “How bad is it, doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fianc
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into the house next door. He was also quick to notice that the woman liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts. He made it a point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping for yet another look. Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door of the new neighbor’s house, he knocked and waited. The husband, a large, burly man, opened the door. “Excuse me,” the man stammered, “But I couldn’t help noticing how beautiful your wife is.” “Yeah? So?” his hulking neighbor replied. “Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her breasts are. I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I could kiss those breasts.” The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor guy when his wife appears and stops him. She pulls him inside and they discuss the offer for a few moments. Finally, they return and ask our friend to step inside. “OK,” the husband says gruffly, “For ten thousand dollars you can kiss my wife’s breasts.” At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of desire hang free at last. Our man takes one in each hand, and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy. This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed. “Well, come on already, kiss ‘em!” he growls. “I can’t,” replies our awe-struck man, still nuzzling away. “Why not?” demands the husband, getting really angry now. “I don’t have ten thousand dollars.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as they gyrated to their own tattoo. The woman cocked her ear, “Quick! My husband’s coming through the front door! Hide in the bathroom!” she cried. The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door. “What are you doing lying on the bed naked?” he asked. “Darling, I heard you coming up the drive and got ready to receive you,” she replied with a knowing smile. “Great,” he said, “I’ll just step into the bathroom and I’ll be with you in two shakes.” Before she could stop him, he was into the bathroom where he found a man clapping his hands together in mid-air. “Who the devil are you!” the husband demanded. “I’m from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths,” the lover replied. “But.. but you’ve got no clothes on?” stammered the husband. The lover looked down and jumped backwards in surprise and said, “The little bastards!”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Father Joseph went up to Father Fred one afternoon and said, “I am SICK of all this clean living. Tonight let’s you and me go out and party. We’ll carouse, drink, whatever we want.” Fred was shocked. “Are you crazy? This is a small town and everyone knows us. Besides, even if they didn’t, they would see our clothes and know we were priests.” Joe was ready for this. “Don’t be silly. We won’t stay in town, we’ll go into the city where nobody knows us, and we’ll dress just like anyone else.” In the end, he managed to persuade Fred, and they went out that night and partied like professionals. When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Fred’s face became pale. “I just thought of something,” he said. “We have to confess this.” Again, Joe was ready. “Relax, I told you, I thought this all out in advance. Tomorrow, you go into church and into the confessional. I will come in my regular clothes and confess, and you absolve me. Then I go put on my garments, you come in and confess, and I’ll absolve you.” Fred was amazed at Joe’s brilliance. And so, Joseph went in later that morning and said, “Father forgive me, for I have sinned. My friend and I, we’re both young men, and last night we went out and caroused. We became drunk, had carnal knowledge of prostitutes, used foul language, danced to wicked music.” Fred answered, “God is patient and forgiving, and thus shall I be. Do 5 ‘Our Father’s’ and 5 ‘Hail Mary’s’ and you will be absolved of your sin.” A while later, their places were reversed as Fred came in and confessed everything in detail. There was a short pause, and Joseph answered, “I don’t believe this. And you DARE to call yourself a priest? You will do 500 “Our Father’s,” 500 “Hail Mary’s,” donate all your money for the next month to the church, and go around the church 500 times on your knees praying for God’s forgiveness. Then come back and we’ll discuss absolution, but I make no guarantees.” “WHAT?!” Father Fred was shocked. “What about our agreement??” Joe replied, “Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but I take my job seriously.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Once upon a time in China lived two men whose names were I KUM and NO KUM. NO KUM was married to a young and very pretty girl named NO KUM TU, while I KUM was single. One night I KUM went to see is friend NO KUM. Upon arriving at NO KUM’S home, I KUM found out that NO KUM was not at home. NO KUM’S wife, NO KUM TU, invited I KUM to stay the night with her. That night NO KUM TU came which gave I KUM great pleasure as I KUM came too. After a time NO KUM found out that he was going to be a father, but NO KUM didn’t know how come. When the little child was born, NO KUM named him HOW KUM YOU KUM. But NO KUM TU and I KUM know how come HOW KUM YOU KUM came. To this day NO KUM doesn’t know how come HOW KUM YOU KUM came.
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
A woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, “Come this way,” and heads towards the back of the store. “If I could come that way,” she tells the retreating clerk, “I wouldn’t need the batteries.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. “This is Sister Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!” She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on “There’s an orgy planned for tonight, and everyone *must* attend!” “Of course, Sister,” he said. “I’ll get you out of there right away.” Apparently, her plight slipped his mind, and the following morning He heard the following, “Hey, Pete, this is Maggie. Never mind!”
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