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Man to a woman: Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?
Woman: No
Man: Lets have lunch sometime…

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked.

“I wanna be weighed,” she said.

So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “One-twelve,” said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.

Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like to do.

“I wanna be weighed,” she said.

“I really latched onto a square one tonight,” thought the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.

The girl’s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked,

“What’s wrong, dear, didn’t you have a nice time tonight?”

“Wousy,” said the girl.

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman’s apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling.

The old man is thinking …”Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”

The old lady is thinking …”Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”

Chad went to a bar and ordered a drink. A few minutes, a beautiful blonde sat down next to him and started coming on to him. Soon she invited him back to her place. Overcome with excitement, Chad agreed.

When they got to the bedroom, Chad exclaimed “Wow! A waterbed. I’ve never had sex on a waterbed before.”

Soon they were both naked and going at it. The blonde stopped him and said, “Before we go any further, don’t you think you should put on some protection?”

“Good idea,” he responded and got up. Chad walked out of the room, and when he came back, he was wearing a life preserver.

Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one
night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest “weapon”. The
first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon… he pulled down his
pants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered… the
women swooned… the children waved multi-colored banners… and the band played appropriate
music.
Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pants
and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered… the
women swooned… the children waved multi-colored banners… and the band played
appropriate music.
After several more knights tried to prove their superiority… the King finally spoke out.
“I have the mightiest weapon of them all!” He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound,
not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth
rose. The crowds cheered… the women swooned… the children waved multi-colored banners…
and the band played “God Save the Queen.”



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