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A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip.
Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa
application. The border official look s over his shoulder,
and sees the tourist trying to write ‘Twice a week’ into
the small space labeled ‘SEX’.

The official explains: “No, no, no. That is not what we
mean by this question. We are asking ‘Male’ or ‘Female’.”

“Doesn’t matter,” the tourist answers.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren!” POOF!! She is gone.

The second nun says, “I want-a to be Madonna!” POOF!! She is gone.

The third nun says, “I want-a to be Sara Pipilini.”

St. Peter shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, but that name is unfamiliar to me.”

The nun takes a newspaper out and hands it to him.

He reads the paper and starts laughing, then hands it back to her and says, “No, sister. This paper says, ‘Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days.”

My wife must be a sex object because every time I ask for sex, she objects.

A lady was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates… “I know you haven’t been getting much lately…but I didn’t know you were so worried about it!”

One of my first evenings back from overseas, my girl’s understanding parents left us alone in the living room.
Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the doorway.
“If you will be a good girl and go to bed, I will give you a quarter,” I said to her.
Without taking the bribe or saying a word, she ran off but soon was back again.
“Here is a dollar,” she said. “I wanna watch.”

© 2014