Henry goes to confession and says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Last night I was with seven different women.”
The priest says, “Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing.”
“Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?”
“No,” replies the priest. “But it’ll wipe that silly grin off your face.”
Q: If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey bites off my roosters feet, what do you have?
A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.
Q: On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
A: Instead of staring at the bikinis, he’s staring at the beach balls.
While leading a party of girl scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, our troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in an indecent act.
“Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very dangerous beast out there!”
But it was too late, several of the kids had more-or-less seen all. They asked their leader what was happening.
“Well, if you… er… must know, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration.”
“WOW!” exclaimed the oldest of the group. “I know which merit badge I’m gonna try for next!”
Q: What does ADIDAS stand for?
A: All Day I Dream About Sex.