Mongo’s old lady decided she wanted t do
something special to please him on his
birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless
That night, as he came into the house, she
lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.
“Hi hon,” she purred sexily. “Y’all want
some of this?”
“Hell, no!” he hollered. “Look at what it’s
done to your undies!”
After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took
$300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”
“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t
make a living on that.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on the
Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around
their ankles. They have their penis’ in a snow bank.
Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, “Boys! Boys!
Whatever are you doing… you’re going to catch pneumonia. Put your
The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, “Sister Margaret, don’t
worry, we know what we’re doing. Father Porter always likes a couple
cold ones after work… “
Jon was looking for a little “action”. He picked up a sweet
young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.
After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth*
time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of
On the way out he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in
front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he
couldn’t find “it”.
After a couple of minutes “fishing around” he finally said, “Look,
it’s ok. She’s not here!”
A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.
“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!”
“Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion.
So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five
minutes they’re out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The
mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his
throat and said, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”
The mouse replied, “Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back
to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I’ve never had a night like it!”
“But how come you look like you’re so exhausted?” asked the lion.
“Well” said the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”