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A married couple was on holiday in the Middle East and they came upon the main city bazaar. They walked around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard a gentleman say, “You foreigners? Come in my friends. Come into my humble shop. Salam a leekem!” (hello in english) So the couple walked in.

The bazaar merchant says to them, “I have some special sandals I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”

After hearing this statement, the wife became intrigued and encouraged her husband to try them on. Her husband smirked and winked at his wife, with the comment, ” I don’t think I really need them.” But since they were having fun in the bazaar, he asked the merchant, “So, how could sandals make you into a sex animal?”

The merchant smiled and replied, “Just try them on, my friend, trust me!”

Well, in the combined spirit of goodwill and after much badgering from his wife, he finally consented to try them on.

The husband put the shoes on and and a wild look seemed to appear in his eyes, something his wife has not seen in many years — the look of raw sexual power.

In a blink of the eye, the husband rushed the merchant, threw him on the table and started tearing at the guys pants.

While trying to run away, the bazaar merchant is yelling non-stop, “You’ve got the shoes on the wrong feet…You’ve got the shoes the wrong feet!!”

One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.

When she asked him why, he said, “I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She said, “You can’t offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything.”

The cab driver then said, “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job.”

She said, “Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic.”

Immediately the cab driver said, “Oh, yes! I’m single and I’m Catholic!”

The nun said, “Okay, pull into that alley.”

The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.

The nun said, “My child, what’s the matter?”

He said tearfully, “Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied…I’m married and I’m Jewish!”

The nun replied, “That’s okay. My name’s Bruce and I’m on my way to a costume party!”

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. “This is a brothel,”replied the madam.

“Well, what’s all this out on the lawn?” queried the man.

“Oh, we’re having a yard sale today.”

Q: What’s the best way to make yourself last with your girlfriend?

A: Let everyone go first!

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea–each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank. The husband looked at their savings and said: “Isn’t it strange. Each time we had sex, I put $20.00 into the piggy. But I see tons of $50.00 bills and a few $100.00 bills.”

The wife replied, “Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?”



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