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A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.
They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren!” POOF!! She is gone.

The second nun says, “I want-a to be Madonna!” POOF!! She is gone.

The third nun says, “I want-a to be Sara Pipilini.”

St. Peter shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, but that name is unfamiliar to me.”

The nun takes a newspaper out and hands it to him.

He reads the paper and starts laughing, then hands it back to her and says, “No, sister. This paper says, ‘Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days.”

Q: What is pink and moist and split in the middle?
A: A grapefruit!

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” God said.

Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”

Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time.”

Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are
perched near the front door of the girls’ dorm. Several
plain Janes walk by as the two converse.

Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and
saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and – barely audibly
- inquires, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”

The young beauty – startled by what she thinks she heard
- exclaims “What?!” Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats
“Typical nasty weather?” “Oh,” she demures, “yes,” and goes
on her way.

More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated.
“Tickle your ass with a feather?” “What?”
“Typical nasty weather?”

Finally, Romeo delivers his line,
“Tickle your ass with a feather?” and his prospect stops,
smiles and invites him up to her room.

Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention,
decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely
prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out,
“Cram a feather up your ass?”

Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which
he replies, “Looks like rain!”

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