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Q: Did you hear about the gay guy who put a nicotine patch on his penis?
A: He’s down to three butts a week!

A guy’s fingering his girlfriend.
She says, “Would you take off your ring? It’s hurting me.”
He says, “That’s not my ring… It’s my wristwatch.”

One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did
not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked
him why is he putting one on. She said “you don’t have to worry about
getting me pregnant because you are too old and you don’t have to worry
about catching anything because you are going to die pretty soon anyway”.
The old man continued to put on his condom he then looked up at the girl
and said, “young girl the reason I am putting on this condom isn’t because
I am afraid of getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like the
scent of burning rubber.”

Q: How does a man know when his wife is losing interest?

A: When her favorite sexual position is “next door”

Q: How do you re-sleeve a prostitue?
A: Put a leg of ham up her snatch and pull the bone out.

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