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Two nuns decide they’re going to sneak out of the convent and have a real night on the town. They hit all the bars and dance clubs, and decide they’ve finally got to head back to the convent.

To enter the convent’s grounds they have to crawl under some barbed wire. The nuns start crawling under the wire on their bellies.

As they’re crawling under the wire, the first nun turns to the second and says, “I feel like a marine.”

The second replies, “Yeah, me too, but where can you find one this time of night?”

Q: Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
A: There’d be too many thank you notes to write.

A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts
giving him a blowjob.
He says to her, “Excuse me, aren’t you Karen Carlton, and didn’t you go to
Cardozo High School in Detroit?”
“Yes. How’d you know?”
“I never forget a face.”

There once was a young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.”

The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.”

The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass and then drink the juice.

The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?”

“No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.”

Q: What do you call gay lawyers?
A: Legal Aids!

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