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A question for Bill Clinton:
“What was Miss Lewinsky’s most memorable feature?”
“She has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across”

The handsome American strode into a department store in Paris, France,
and headed straight for the lingerie counter. He intently studied the
array of lacy underthings and the sales lady bustled over to him.

“Do you have something in mind?” she asked.

“I certainly do, ma’am,” the American emphatically replied.
“That’s why I want a nice gift.”

Q: What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?
A: A half-hour of begging.

Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
Yes, Intercourse… you go between periods and you are expected to come.

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 35,” was the reply.

“I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker, the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29.”

“I am actually 47!” This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age.”

As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says. “Okay, it’s done. You are 47.”

Stunned, the man says, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?”

The old lady replies, “I was in line behind you at McDonalds.”



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