Having picked George up in a gay bar, Sandy was driving home when, entranced by his companion, he failed to see the red light. Plowing into a van, he nearly marked his laundry when the driver got out, a big brute of a man.
“You idiot!” he screamed. “You drive like my grandmother, and you can kiss my a$$!”
Sighing with relief, the gay driver said to his companion, “Thank God! He wants to settle out of court.”
Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business,
and one of the hookers said, “Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in
The other hooker looked at her and said, “No, I just burped.”
Bill and his sidekick walk into a bar, not realizing it’s a gay bar. They take a table and sit down. Some guy walks over and leans on the table, saying, “Hey, you guys wanna play butt football?”
Not really knowing what that is, Bill asks the bartender.
The bartender says, “Oh, you just chug a beer; that’s the touchdown; then you pull down your pants and boxers, bend over and moon the room and fart; that’s the extra point.”
Bill looks at his friend and says, “Why not? Sounds like a whole lot of fun!”
Bill’s sidekick chugs a beer, pulls down his pants, moons the room, and farts.
Bill chugs his beer, pulls down his pants, bends over and is just about to moon the room when another guy walks up behind him, sticks his dick up Bill’s ass, and yells, “Field goal block!”
Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery.
“Oh, no,” said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. “Was it with Marie Brown?”
“I’d rather not say who it was.”
“Was it with Betty Smith?”
“I’d rather not say,” says Joe.
So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe’s friend asks if he received absolution.
“Yes, and two very good leads!”
- Put bifocals on. Double check that you’re with the right partner.
- Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes… in case you doze off in the middle.
- Set the mood with lighting. Turn ‘em ALL OFF !
- Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin… just in case!
- Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember what to scream out at the end.