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Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: He had his dick stuck in the chicken.

The young lady admired the watch in the store window every
time she walked by it. She finally entered the shop one day
and said, “Just how much is that watch?”

“It’s $2000, ma’am.”

“Hmmm. Well, would you consider time payments for it?”

“Just what sort of ‘time schedule’ did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking two times a week for the next two months.”

Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, saying “Lie to me!”

I think we could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax liability would decrease as you got older. (some of us)

It would also promote family values. How would you like to come home to your wife and have her ask, “Honey, why is your tax bill larger than mine?” Or be a teenager and come home to your dad with your tax tax bill in his hand.

We wouldn’t have to pay people to work for the IRS, they would be paying to work there just so they could review peoples returns. Locker room conversations would change… “Get a load of this tax bill!”

The forms would change a little also. We would now have a 1040Quickee. And it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase.. “Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.”

A traveling salesman whose car has broken down goes to the door of the closest farmhouse. The farmer says, “You can spend the night but you’ll have to share a room with my beautiful daughter.”

“Oh, I don’t mind that,” exclaims the salesman.

“Just one thing,” says the farmer. “No funny business.”

“Oh no sir,” says the salesman. “You can count on me.”

Just to be safe, the farmer builds a wall of eggs between the two beds in the daughter’s room. In the middle of the night, the salesman can no longer control himself, busts through the eggs and has his way with the farmer’s daughter.

They take the rest of the night piecing the eggs back together one by one and rebuilding the wall.

The next morning, the farmer goes to his daughter’s room and takes a couple eggs to the kitchen to make breakfast. Cracking open the first egg, of course, produces nothing. Cracking open the second egg, likewise.

The farmer pokes his head out the window and yells, “OK, which one of you roosters is using a rubber?”



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