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Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around
their ankles. They have their penis’ in a snow bank.

Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, “Boys! Boys!
Whatever are you doing… you’re going to catch pneumonia. Put your
penis’ away.”

The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, “Sister Margaret, don’t
worry, we know what we’re doing. Father Porter always likes a couple
cold ones after work… “

Q: How can u tell if a blonde has been in the frig?

A: Theres lipstick on the cucumber.

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene Edwards had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

“Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily. “I’ve been saved.”

“Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?” asked the old nun.

“Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.”

“Did he now,” said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, “And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.”

“Is that a fact,” said the old nun even more evenly.

“At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.”

“That wicked old Devil,” said the old nun. “He told me it was Gabriel’s Horn, and I’ve been blowing it for 40 years!”

Q:What do you call two guys in a sleepping bag?

A: A gay time….

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting
drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down.
“My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said.
“What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she told
me that I was too kinky for her, too!”
The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so
much in common they decide to go back to the woman’s house to have
kinky sex.
When they get to the woman’s house she turns to the man and says,
“Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable.”
She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrix
outfit.
However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on
his coat and walking out the door.
“What happened?” She said, “I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?”
He looks at her and says, “Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in
your purse. I’m done.”



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