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Q: What’s the similarity between a blond and a postage stamp?
A: You lick ‘em, stick ‘em, and send them on their way…

Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy, points to it and says, “Mummy, what is that long thing?”
His mother replies, “That, son, is the elephant’s trunk.”
“No, at the other end.”
“That, son is the tail.”
“No, mummy, the thing under the elephant.”
A short embarrassed silence after which she replies, “That’s nothing.”
The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer, asks his father the same question.
“Daddy, what is that long thing?”
“That’s the trunk, son,” replies the father.
“No at the other end.”
“Oh, that is the tail.”
“No, no daddy, the thing below,” asks the son in desperation.
“That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?”
“Well mummy said it was nothing,” says the boy.
Replies the father: “I tell you, I spoil that woman…”

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Four. Actually, only one to screw it in. The other 3 are there to listen to him brag about the screwing part!

A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.

“Back ladies, back!” cried the leader. “There’s a very
dangerous beast out there!”

But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was
the couple was doing.

“Well, err… if you must know, uh, they were practicing a
brand new form of artificial respiration… yeah, that’s it, it’s
artificial respiration!”

“WOW!” exclaimed the oldest of the group. “I know which
merit badge I’m gonna try for next!”

A young teenager comes home from school and asks her
mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies
come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?”

“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.

“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”



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