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Q: Why do Black widow spiders kill there mates after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts..

Q: Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
A: There’d be too many thank you notes to write.

Q: What’s worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?

A: Getting fingered by Captain Hook!

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?” she asks, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors,” he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks cheekily.

“Gold of course,” says the man proudly.

The wife responds, “Really, why don’t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!”

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s
apartment.
“I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,”
said the woman, “especially with the size difference and all.”
“Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs
apart and close your eyes,” said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest
thing she’d ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
“If you think that was good,” said the midget with a smirk, “Just
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!”



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