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Q: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A: A Tent

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by
herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the
dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said,
“You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?”
The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the
compliment, she said, “You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?”
“Well, I’ve got a hardon, but I didn’t think you could smell it,” the guy

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent
marriage annulled. “On what grounds ?” questioned the Judge, “This
court does not take annulments lightly.”

“Non-virginity,” replied the quarterback, “When I married her, I
thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had
married a wide receiver.”

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little
boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa,
I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”

The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then
he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and
runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and
hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, “Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars.”

The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to
the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.

When she had finished, the husband’s lawyer rose to his feet and
coolly replied, “Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing
of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed

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