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In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he “comes of age” and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt.

He took the material to the tailor and said, “I’d like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don’t mind, I’d like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!”

So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.

“Here’s ye kilt, and here’s ye matching underwear, and here’s five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it.”

So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend’s house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.

When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, “Well, what’d ye think?”

“Ah, but dat’s a fine looking kilt,” she exclaimed.

“Aye, and if ye like it, ye’ll really like what’s underneath,” he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.

“Oh, but dat’s a dandy,” his girlfriend shouted admiringly.

Still not realizing that he didn’t have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, “Aye, and if ye like it, I’ve got five more yards of it at home!”

My sex life is a disaster. Last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts.

Q: What is the Australian for foreplay?
A: Brace yourself, Sheila!

Q: And the Welsh?
A: Are you awake, Gwen?

Q: What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
A: “Stand back …. I don’t know how big this thing is going to grow!”

Q: Is it wrong to have sex before you are married?
A: Only if you are late for the ceremony.



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