Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in
one tent while the wives used the other.
At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, “Wow,
Which woke Ed.
“What’s going on?” said Ed.
“I’ve got to go to the other tent and find my wife.” said Ted.
“How come?” said Ed.
“To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I’ve ever had in my
life!” said Ted
After a pause, Ed said, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?” said Ted.
“Because that’s my dick you’re holding,” said Ed.
Q: How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?
A: His dick tastes like shit.
After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more than enuff to drink. Finally, he took the girl of his dreams, whom he had wed after a whirl-wind courtship, by the hand and tenderly began to lead her towards the bedroom.
“Damn!” she muttered, “every stinking time I go out with a guy it always ends up the same way.”
Q: What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?
A: A fruit stand.
A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They’re having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure — she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible — the best sex he’d ever had!
He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.
A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, “I think her orgasm’s stuck!”