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These two sperm were swimmin’ around, doin’ their thing and one sperm
asks the
other… Hey, are we almost there??? Is this the fallopian tube???
Sperm #2 says “Naaaa
this is still the esophagus”.

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling.

So what’s the problem?

A woman works in an office setting. Every morning a man she works with comes in and sticks his nose in her hair, backs away and exclaims, “Boy, your hair smells GREAT!”

This became a regular occurrence, and began to annoy the woman. Day after day this went on. Finally she decided to report him to the Director of Human resources. She said to him, “I would like to file a sexual harassment charge!”

“What do you base this on?” replied the HR Manager.

“Well, you see, every morning a man I work with comes in and sticks his nose in my hair, backs away and exclaims ‘Boy, your hair smells GREAT!’”

“I’m afraid that this doesn’t sound like much of a case,” said the HR.

“Well, would it bolster my case if you knew the guy was a midget?” retorted the woman.

A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50′s, had a relatively minor
heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his
cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The
cardiologist said, “Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your
heart. After you get home, you should have sex 3 or 4 times a week. It’ll
be the best thing you can do for your recovery.”
So after his discharge (from the hospital), Myron tells his wife what
the doctor had said. His wife looked at him and told him, “That’s
wonderful, Myron! Sign me up for twice.”

Two nuns decide they’re going to sneak out of the convent and have a real night on the town. They hit all the bars and dance clubs, and decide they’ve finally got to head back to the convent.

To enter the convent’s grounds they have to crawl under some barbed wire. The nuns start crawling under the wire on their bellies.

As they’re crawling under the wire, the first nun turns to the second and says, “I feel like a marine.”

The second replies, “Yeah, me too, but where can you find one this time of night?”

© 2015