When fashion says, as fashion must,
That females should expose the bust,
How odd will be the sights we’ll see,
Such infinite variety.
From tiny buds not yet in bloom,
To those which fill up half the room.
But first let’s start off with the flats,
With ribs on view like building slats.
The teenage girls will start the craze,
By giving “half an egg” displays.
And then improving on the view,
There’ll be the orange, cut in two.
So now there comes the classic type,
Round and cushioned, soft and ripe.
The perky ones deserve a line,
Pointing upwards all the time.
Upsetting to the manly sight,
One points left and one points right.
And then there’s one, takes so much space,
How can the other keep it’s place?
And so we come around to the flops,
Like spaniels ears, or razor strops.
The double chins, the pigeon toes,
The blusher, and the purple nose.
Then jewels pendant from the ends,
Will add to fashions topless trends.
The only common factor seen,
Will be the upright cleft between.
As long as there are two abreast,
Who is to say which sort is best.
The great advantage is, I feel,
At least we’ll know that they are real.