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Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, “Hey,
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
The sex of a bee is hard to see
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Two nuns were on a remote beach. They decided to go behind a sand dune and sunbathe in the nude. They were lying there for a while when a photographer came by and pointed a camera at them. The first nun asked him, “Aren’t you going to focus?” The second nun said, “Quiet sister…let him take his picture first.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Q: What two words will clear out a men’s restroom?
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman’s apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking …”Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking …”Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
Read all jokes from:Marriage (+787), Medical (+1843), Sex (+4814)
A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments – lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, so the doctor did not hesitate to ask the man about his personal life. “Well, if you must know,” said the patient, “I cannot stand my wife. She’s made my life unbearable. I fantasize all the time about killing that damn witch. In fact, if you are truly my friend, you’ll give me some kind of untraceable poison to give her, so I may end my misery.” The doctor explained that not only was that illegal, it would in fact, violate his oath to save lives. He said, “Besides, you’ll get life in prison yourself, at best. I’ll tell ya what though, I can give you this powerful aphrodisiac to slip into her coffee. You can then ‘love her to death’. No jury in the world is going to convict a man for loving his wife too much. She’ll be gone in a month at best.” The man blessed the doctor, went home and started putting the love elixir in his wife’s coffee the very next morning. Three weeks later, the doctor hasn’t heard a word from his friend, and becomes concerned. After office hours, he stops by his friend’s house to see if all is well. He finds his friend sitting on the sun deck, wrapped in a blanket, even though it’s a warm Spring day. The man’s face was gaunt and pale, he’d lost Lord knows how much weight,and looked terrible. The doctor asked, “What the Hell happened?” The man said, “I followed your advice to the letter. That woman and I made love like a pair of crazed rabbits, day and nite.” Then, he chuckled, causing a terrible wheeze. Just then the wife appeared from inside the house. All slim and trim and dressed in tennis clothes; smiling, she said she was off for a few sets of tennis. As she leaped into her new sports car, her husband cackled and said to the doctor, “Look at that dumb crazy bitch. She hasn’t a lick of sense. If she only knew she has less than a week to live she wouldn’t be so God damn frisky.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal in women. Foremost amongst these is the Mercedes Benz 500S convertible.
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Emily, I don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alan in accounting asked me out for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my gosh,” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off your dress and you’ll have fantastic sex!” “What should I do?” “Wear an old dress.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Miss Annabelle has just returned from her big trip to New York City and is having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy’s mansion with her Southern Belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound. “You just wouldn’t believe what they have there in New York City,” says Miss Annabelle. “They have men there who kiss other men on the lips.” Miss Annabelle’s friends fan themselves and say, “Oh my! Oh my!” “They call them homosexuals,” proclaims Miss Annabelle. “They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!” “Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls. “What do they call them?” they asked. “They call them lesbians,” says Miss Annabelle. “They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City,” sighs Miss Annabelle. “Oh my! Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls as they sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. “What do they call them?” they ask in unison. Miss Annabelle leans forward and says in a hush, “Why when I caught my breath, I called him ‘Precious’!”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4814)
Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about ‘the bases’ with your friends? - First Base – This was almost always kissing, although one guy - Second Base – Variously this meant tongue kissing, breast feeling, or - Third Bas e- Usually this was a hand down the pants of you or your - Home Run – This was ALWAYS sex, although it was rarely reached in Well that system is ok, if you are a young teenager with a repressed Standardized Guide to the Bases! - On Deck- Having plans for a date Now that we’ve got the basics, let’s introduce some terms to - Balk- Premature ejaculation Now that we have the definitions, lets quickly contrast OLD WAY- we um got to third base i guess and then we um got like Well, there you have it, i hope it has cleared up a lot of I hope that you enjoy this little tarticle on America’s favorite pastime! Rule 2. Section3. The referee shall have the power to make decisions on any point not specifically covered in the rules.
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