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Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods, so she ran up to him, knocked him flat on his back. Sat on his face, and yelled, “Lie to me, lie to me!”

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” God said.

Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”

Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time.”

Q: Why do you live like a NUN after you get married?

A: NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the evening, NUN what so ever!

A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather
hot blond behind him has just smiled “Hello” to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him…
and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from…
so he says… “Sorry… do you know me?”

She replies… “I may be mistaken… but I thought you might be the
father… of one of my children.”

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
“Holy crap”… he says, “are you that stripper from my bachelor party
that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends… while
your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up
my behind?”

“No”… she replies… “I’m your son’s teacher.”

Q: How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A: It’s not hard.



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