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Q: What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
A: “Stand back …. I don’t know how big this thing is going to grow!”

A guy and a girl are having sex when they both say that they are hungry and thirsty. It was freezing in the house so they have an argument over who should go get the food and drink. After a while they decide to have a contest. Whoever can come up with the best poem would be the one to stay in bed.

They both think for a while when the guy says, “Okay, I got one. Two times two is four plus five is nine, I can pee in yours but you can’t pee in mine.”

So she thinks for a minute and says, “Okay two times two is four plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you’ll never know the depth of mine.”

Q: How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?
A: His dick tastes like shit.

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.



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