Joke's Database
ijokedb.com for sale, click here for price and more info.
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Q: How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one. Blonds will screw anything.

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because
he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest
and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the
Bible, the priest says, “My son, after an exhaustive search, I
am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted
on Sundays.” The man thinks: “What does a priest know
about sex?” So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a
married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the
minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and
therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he
seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition
and knowledge. The Rabbi ponders the question, then
states, “My son, sex is definitely play.” The man
replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others
tell me sex is work?” The Rabbi softly speaks, “My son, if sex
were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A: His hand caught fire.

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods, so she ran up to him, knocked him flat on his back. Sat on his face, and yelled, “Lie to me, lie to me!”

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” God said.

Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”

Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time.”



© 2015 ijokedb.com