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This woman goes to her husband. “The car has a flat tire” she told him.
“Does it look like I have ‘firestone’ written on my head?” he replied.
“Ugh” she walked outta the room.
The next day when her husband walked in from work she said.
“The dishwasher down.” She told him.
“Does it look like I have ‘whirlpool’ written on my forehead?”
The next her husband came home and asked her.
“How did u get this stuff done?”
“The guy next door told me he’d fix them if I gave him a blow job or if I baked him a cake.”
“Oh what kinda cake did ya bake him?” he asked her.
“Does it look like I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead?”

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, “Haven’t I
seen you somewhere before?”
“Yes,” she replied in a loud voice, “I’m the receptionist at the V.D.

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!”

“Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers: “I can lick any man in the place!”

The nearest customer looks him up and down, then says: “Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your first time in a gay bar?”

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.
The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard.
The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.
“Don’t be afraid, darling,” said the man. “Wait until I tell you about this.”
“Get out of here!” cried his wife. “And take that sex maniac with you!”

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