Three gays were discussing what they thought their favorite sport would be. The first decides on football, ’cause of all those gorgeous guys bending over in their tight pants.
“Definitely wrestling,” sighs the second guy. “Those skimpy little costumes, and think of the holds.”
“Definitely baseball,” says the third guy. “Why? Well, I’d be pitching with the bases loaded, the batter would hit a line drive right to me, I’d catch it, and I’d just stand there while the other guys rounded the bases. Meanwhile the crowd would be going crazy, screaming, ‘Throw the ball, you cocksucker!’ and that’s what I like – the recognition.”
Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker,
and he says, “How much?”
She says, “Twenty bucks.”
He says, “All right.”
They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he
runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time
while he’s banging her, she blasts two incredible farts. When they get
done, he hands her twenty-FIVE dollars.
She says, “What the extra five?”
He says, “That’s for blowing the sand off my balls.”
Q: How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. Blonds will screw anything.
* You don’t have to look your best.
* You never have to say “I love you”, promise to mow the lawn, buy flowers/dinner, lie about the size of your hand’s, etc.
* If you use your other hand it feels like someone else.
* You can use both hands and have and orgy.
* You don’t have to promise to call in the morning.
* As long as you’re careful you’ll never end up with the wet spot.
* You can make it last for hours, if you do it a certain way.
* You can do it wherever there is a public toilet which has a private cubical.
* You don’t need to make an appointment in advance.
* It doesn’t really make you go blind, not unless your hand slides off the end and you poke yourself in the eye.
* It’s cheaper…you don’t have to use those pesky condoms.
A naive young girl goes into the doctor’s office. She says, “Doc, I’m
getting married and
I’m a little inexperienced, so I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
He says, “All right.”
She says, “All right… what is that thing that hangs between my