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A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some
preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and
generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl
started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. “Your
organ,” she replied. “It’s a bit on the small side.” Hurt, he replied:
“It’s not used to playing in cathedrals.”

A man and a woman were guests at a party. They had been eyeing each other all night. Finally, the man walked up to the woman and asked, “Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?”
“Well yes!” answered the woman.
The man replied, “Would you sleep with me for a dollar?”
“Of course not!” replied the woman, horrified. “What kind of woman do you think I am?”
“I’ve already established that, ma’am,” said the man. “Now I’m just trying to settle on a price.”

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replied, “Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, and mending fences. I guess I am.”

After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, “I’ve never been on a ranch so I’m not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women.”

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”

To which he replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One – men will screw anything.

Q: What’s the best form of birth control after 50?
A: Nudity

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