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Q: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A: Just when it’s getting interesting they are finished until next time…

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.

Q: What do a moped and a blonde have in common?

A: They’re both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

A young couple was out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy asked the girl, “If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?”

She agreed to and he began to speed up. When the speedometer hit 100, she started to strip. When she got all her clothes off, he was so busy staring at her that he drove off the road and flipped the car.

The girl was thrown clear without a scratch, but her clothes and her boyfriend were still trapped in the car.

“Go get help,” he pleaded.

She replied, “I can’t, I’m naked.”

He pointed to his shoe that was thrown clear and said, “Cover your privates with that and go get help.”

She grabbed the shoe, covered herself, and ran to the gas station down the road. When she arrived, she was frantic and yelled to the attendant, “HELP! HELP! My boyfriend’s stuck!”

The attendant looked down at the shoe covering her crotch and replied, “I’m sorry, Miss. He’s too far in.”

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. “My son, you shouldn’t be doing that,” said the priest. “You should be saving that for when you get married.”

The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said “Yes, Father.”

About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young man, in his early twenties came in.

“Yes, my son?” said the priest.

“Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I’ll never forget the advice you gave then.”

“And what was that, my son?”

“Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married,” said the young man.

“That sounds like something I probably would have said,” said the priest. “Did you take my advice?”

“Yes I did, Father; but there’s only one problem.”

“What’s that, my son?”

“Well, I have three 55 gallon drums full of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck. Now that I am getting married what am I supposed to do with it?”



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