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There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night
and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a
virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been

Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t
worry about you.”

10 o’clock rolls around and there’s no sign of Gladys… 11
o’clock… 12 o’clock…

Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs
Gladys… straight to the bathroom.

Betty goes and knocks on the door, “Are you okay, Gladys??”

No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with
her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck
between her legs looking at herself.

“What is it, Gladys??? What’s wrong?” asks Betty.

“Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in… and 5 when it
came out. When I find the other half you’re gonna have the
time of your life!!!”

“Say, how old are you anyway?” the reporter asked as the obviously young lass was disrobing.
“Thirteen.” she replied with a shy smile.
“Thirteen? My God girl! You get those clothes back on at once and get the hell outta here! Are you crazy?” he thundered.
Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet smiled and said, “Superstitious, huh?”

This cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.

“What are you doing?” the cowboy asks.

The Indian answers, “Me tell time.”

The cowboy says, “Ok. If you are so good, what time is it?”

The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, “It 2 o’clock.”

The cowboy looks at his watch and says, “By Golly, you are right!”

The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.

“Don’t tell me….you’re telling time also?”

Indian looks up at him and says, “Yes, me telling time.”

The cowboy says, “Okay smartass, what time is it?”

The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, “It 4 o’clock.”

The cowboy is amazed at the Indians, so he keeps walking.

A few hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.

“Don’t tell me you are telling time!!??”

The Indian looks up at him and says, “No, me winding watch!!”

Q: What does it mean if a blonde has square boobs?
A: She forgot to take the tissue out of the box.

A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower.
It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says…

“Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?”

The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back
at the little girl and winks…

“When your mommy goes to the mall!”

© 2015