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A young girl is speaking with her father.
“Daddy, what’s that between your legs?”
“That’s my hedgehog.”
“Wow, it’s got a massive cock.”

* “I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.”
* “Ahh, it’s cute.”
* “I’m sorry.”
* “Who circumcised you?”
* “Why don’t we just cuddle?”
* “You know they have surgery to fix that.”
* “It’s more fun to look at.”
* “Make it dance.”
* “You know… there’s a tower in Italy like that.”
* “Wow, and your feet are so big.”
* “My last boyfriend was 4″ bigger.”
* “It’s OK, we’ll work around it.”
* “Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?”
* “Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.”
* (giggle and point)
* “Can I be honest with you?”
* “My 8-year-old brother has one like that.”
* “Let me go get my tweezers.”
* “How sweet, you brought incense.”
* “This explains your car.”
* “Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.”
* “Thanks, I needed a toothpick.”
* “Are you one of those pygmies?”
* “Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?”
* “All right, a treasure hunt!”
* “I didn’t know they came that small.”
* “Why is God punishing you (or ME for that matter)?”
* “At least this won’t take long.”
* “Let’s just stick with your hand.”
* “Do you need a splint to prop that up.”
* “How interesting…”
* “I never saw one like that before.”
* “But it still works right?”
* “Do you take steroids?”
* “I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.”
* “Maybe it looks better in natural light.”
* “I think there’s a dildo around here somewhere.”
* “Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?”
* “Let me know when you’re done.”
* “Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.”
* “Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?”
* “Aww, it’s hiding.”
* “Are you cold?”
* “Is that an optical illusion?”
* “What is that?”
* “Does this run in your family?”
* “I’ll go get the ketchup for your French fry.”
* “Were you neutered?”
* “It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.”
* “Does it come with an air pump?”
* “So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.”
* “Where are the puppet strings?”
* “Deep throat? I doubt it’ll reach my tongue!”
* “Your big gun is more like a BB gun.”
* “Can you get this pencil out of me now?”
* “Do I hang my hat on it?”
* “Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!”
* “Don’t hold back.”
* “Nevermind, why bother?”


* “Am I dreaming?”
* “Can I keep you?”
* Get down on your knees, look heavenward and say, “Thank you God”
* And the most vital thing to say to a man with a huge penis, “I DO!”

A young kid’s in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical
island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a
beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes
up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty
years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, “Well,
what did you do for love?” He says, “Love? What’s that?” She says, “I’ll
show you.” She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him
one more time. When they’re finally done, she says, “Well, how do you like
love?” He says, “It’s great. But look what you did to my clam digger.”

Q: What’s a brunette’s mating call?
A: “Has the blonde left yet?”

Q: What is pink and moist and split in the middle?
A: A grapefruit!

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