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A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger
walked up to him and asked, “If you woke up
in the woods and scratched your butt
and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?”

“Hell no!” the guy said.

The stranger then asked, “If you felt further into your
crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?”

The man said, “Of course not.”

“Wanna go camping?”

Did you know there are serial number on condoms… No?.
I guess you didn’t roll them down far enough.

There’s no business like show business, but there’s no job like a blowjob.

The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They
got to talk to the
mother superior.
“Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?”
“Sorry”, she replies, “but there are no dwarf nuns here”.
“Well, are there any in the city?”.
“No, there are no dwarf nuns”.
“What, none anywhere in Europe?”
“No, little man”. “None in the entire world”. “Take my word for it”.
At this 6 of the seven dwarves burst out laughing.
The Mother Superior asks “What’s so funny?”. “Dopey just fucked a
penguin”.

Patient: Doctor I’m having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get
close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I
get sick to my stomach.
Doctor: Hmmmm, that does sound serious. Let me see it.
Patient sticks out his tongue…



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