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Just after Lorena Bobbitt brutally cut off her husbands penis, she jumped into her car and sped away. On her way down the highway, holding her husbands penis in her hand, she decided to throw it out the window. She opened her window and tossed the penis as far as she could and sped away again.

Meanwhile 2 Canadians driving down the same highway happened to cross right by Lorenna just as she tossed it out the window and the penis hit their windshield smack dab in the middle.

Stunned but still quiet the 2 Canadians drove on. About 3 miles down the road the one Canadian turned to the other and said, “Man, did you see the size of the dick on that mosquito?”

An old man decides to go to his high school’s 50 year reunion. He hasn’t seen anyone since their 25 year reunion and is very interested to see who might show up. When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down at a table and talk about the past 25 years.

“How have you been?” he asks.

“Just fine, just fine,” she replies. “Although I do have some good news and bad news for you.”

“Bad news first please.”

“Well, I had to have a hysterectomy a few years back.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” he says. “What’s the good news?”

She says, “The doctor found your old high school ring you thought lost.”

Q: What is the definition of an overbite?
A: When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit.

An Eskimo’s snowmobile goes on the fritz. He takes it to a mechanic, who, after examining the vehicle, says, “I think you’ve blown a seal.”

To which the Eskimo replies, “No, that’s just a little ice on my mustache.”

A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.

“Isn’t there some way to judge the size of a man’s equipment from the outside?” she asked earnestly.

“The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet,” counseled the therapist.

So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.

When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, “With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you.”



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