Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, “Do you ever get to feeling horny?”
“Yes,” her friend replied.
“What do you do about it?”
“I usually suck on a Lifesaver.”
After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, “Well, what beach do you go to?”
Q: What proof do we have that prostitution is recession-proof?
A: Everyone knows that hookers thrive on hard times.
There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering
the confessional she said, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” The
priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.” The young woman said,
“Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.”
The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Take seven lemons and
squeeze them into a glass and then drink it.”
The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?”
The priest said “NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face.”
Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda
of the old folks
home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa
Rabinowitz rocks forward in
his chair and says to Grandma, “Fuck you!”
Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa,
“Fuck you too!”
Grandpa becomes very much excited and shouts, “Fuck you!” swinging
Grandma remains graceful but leans forward and says, “Fuck you again.”
This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally Grandpa says, “You know
Grandma, this oral sex thing ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Q: What’s the difference between mono and herpes?
A: You get mono from from snatching a kiss….