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Q: How many licks does it take a Blond to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
A1: None, they don’t lick, they Suck!
A2: None, just one good Suck!

Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you’ll eat that stuff, you’ll eat anything.

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.”

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Pastor.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“We know,” said the young man, “We’re not welcome at Home Depot anymore either.”

Q: Why is a man at his smartest when he is having sex?

A: Because he’s plugged into a woman!

When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was
delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned
and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician
examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be
corrected by minor surgery. The patient’s wife anxiously rushed up to the
doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need
for surgery.
“How long will he be on crutches?” she asked. “Crutches???” the doctor
asked “Well, yes,” the woman said “You are going to lengthen his legs,
aren’t you?”



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