“My, but you look different today Claudia,” commented Rene to her coworker. “Your hair is extra curly, and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use – special curlers and some dramatic eye makeup?”
“No!” replied Claudia. “My vibrator shorted out this morning.”
It was a somber day in Disney land, Mickey And Minnie were in divorce court..
The judge was about to make his decision he said ‘Im sorry mickey, I cant
grant you a divorce based on your statement that Minnie has prominant teeth”
Mickey retorted ” I DIDNT SAY SHE had prominent teeth, I SAID SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY!!
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, “Hey Dad! What are
you doin?” His father says, “I’m filling your mother’s tank.” Johnny says,
“Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The
milkman filled her this morning.”
Q: What’s the difference between “ooh” and “aah?”
A: About three inches.
Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald’s?
A: Because it’s always exactly the same and afterwards you swear you’ll never do it again.