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Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter
says:”You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in.” The second says:”I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands.” St. Peter:”Wash both your hands and go in.
Suddenly the
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What’s going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in

Q: What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm and a woman’s sex life have in common?

A: They’re both concerned with how many inches and how long it will last.

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?”
The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.”
His friend says, “You know, that don’t sound too bad.”
The big guy says, “Well, it’s kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to.”

These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.

They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, “Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year.”

The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies, he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.

The guys asked, “What’s that board for?”

The trader said, “Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this.”

They said, “No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!”

The trader said, “Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them I’ll refund your money next year.

“Okay,” they said and left.

The next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said “Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year.”

The trader said, “Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?”

“Yeah,” said the guy.

“Where is he?” asked the trader.

“I shot him,” said the guy.


“I caught him in bed with my board!”

There was a young girl called Anna,
Who was rather good with a spanner.
A boy gave her a knock,
So she grabbed his big cock,
And he now has a whole different manner!

© 2015