A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were
getting ready to go out on dates. The first
beau came to the door and said, “I’m Eddie, I’m
here to pick up Betty. We’re going for
spaghetti, is she ready?”
No. The second beau came to the door and said,
“I’m Joe, I’m here to pick up Flo to take her to
the show. Is she ready to go?”
No. The third beau came to the door and said to
the farmer. “Hello, my name is Chuck.”
The farmer shot Chuck.
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the
independent prosecutor’s team will drill Monica prior to her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: He was stuck to the chicken.
Q: What’s the difference between men and women?
A: Women must play hard to get; men must get hard to play!
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got
home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting
with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after
which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the
vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice.
“Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?”
“Well, sort of”, said the elderly lady, “there’s a whole bunch of
cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I
can’t get to sleep. What can I do about it?”
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then
patiently replied “Open the window and tell them they’re wanted
on the phone”
“Really?” said the elderly lady, “Will that will that stop them?”
“Should do,” said the vet, “- IT STOPPED ME!”