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Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you’ve been bad or good… so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you’re sleeping… and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

9. Screw the “nice” list – I’ve got you on my “naughty” list!

10. Wanna join the “Mile High” club?

Q: Whats the difference between a regular toad and a horney toad?

A: A regular toad croaks “Ribbit Ribbit” while a horney toad croaks “Rub-it Rub-it”

A man was called to witness that a couple had been making love in a

The witness: They were fucking your honor
The judge: Could the witness put it in a more Sheakspearian way:
The witness: The park was Dark but caused no fear
Until tiny sounds came to my ear
There was this couple on the ground there
and his balls were dangling in the air
and you know his what was in her you know where
If that wasn’t fucking your Honor I wasn’t there

Q: What’s the definition of a real loser?
A: A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.

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