A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot
overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside
with the dome light on. Inside there was a young man in the driver’s
seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat
He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked
up, obligingly cranked the window down, and said, “Yes, Officer?”
“What are you doing?” the policeman asked.
“What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then
asked, “And what is she doing?”
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “I think she’s
knitting a sweater.”
Confused, the officer asked, “How old are you, young man?”
“I’m nineteen,” he replied.
“And how old is she?” asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve
minutes she’ll be eighteen.”
A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a
beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how
much it would cost to repair the condom.
The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spot
welding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, he
could sell the private a new one.
The private said, “Aye, that is a weighty decision, I shall be back in
two hours with an answer.”
Two hours later, The Scotsman returns and says:
“The regiment has voted to replace.”
There was a young girl called Anna,
Who was rather good with a spanner.
A boy gave her a knock,
So she grabbed his big cock,
And he now has a whole different manner!
Q: What’s a lesbian?
A: Just another woman trying to do a man’s job.
A guy steps into an elevator and there’s just one attractive woman in
it. He turns around to
push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her
breast. He says, “Oh, I’m
so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you’ll be
able to forgive me.” She
looks at him a few seconds and says, “That’s all right. If your penis
is as hard as your
elbow, I’m in room 204.”