These two guys had just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, “Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year.”
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies, he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys asked, “What’s that board for?”
The trader said, “Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this.”
They said, “No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!”
The trader said, “Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them I’ll refund your money next year.
“Okay,” they said and left.
The next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said “Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year.”
The trader said, “Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?”
“Yeah,” said the guy.
“Where is he?” asked the trader.
“I shot him,” said the guy.
“I caught him in bed with my board!”
There was a young girl called Anna,
Who was rather good with a spanner.
A boy gave her a knock,
So she grabbed his big cock,
And he now has a whole different manner!
Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog in the front room.
“My God Henry”, she screams, “I know you’ve had other woman but this time
you’ve gone too far!” “You may be right” he says, “I think I’m stuck.”
Q: What’s the difference between mono and herpes?
A: You get mono from from snatching a kiss….
A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather
hot blond behind him has just smiled “Hello” to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him…
and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from…
so he says… “Sorry… do you know me?”
She replies… “I may be mistaken… but I thought you might be the
father… of one of my children.”
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
“Holy crap”… he says, “are you that stripper from my bachelor party
that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends… while
your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up
“No”… she replies… “I’m your son’s teacher.”