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Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?

A: When she sits on your face and you can’t hear the stereo

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: What do you have if you put 50 government employees and 50 lesbians in the same room?
A: 100 people who don’t do dick.

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took
$300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”
“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t
make a living on that.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on the
side!”

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!



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