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Q: What does ADIDAS stand for?

A: All Day I Dream About Sex.

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn’t done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
“I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape but static,” she says.
“Sorry about that. We’ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?” the clerk replies.
“Head Cleaner,” Mary replies.

Q: What do you call gay lawyers?
A: Legal Aids!

(o)(o) Perfect breasts

( + )( + ) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{ O }{ O } D cups

(oYo) Wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^) Cold breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Breasts w/hanging tassels

(:o)(o) Bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/ Grandma’s breasts

( – )( – ) Flat against the shower door breasts

|o||o| Android breasts

(/)(o) Scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) Extra nipple breasts

($)($) Jenny McCarthy’s breasts

(^o)(o) Zit on your breast

( o Y o ) Poses for Playboy magazine breasts

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately,
the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair
curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through
a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection.
Looking down at this, he snarled, “Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!”

© 2015