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Q: “Wanna play army?”

A: “I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!”

A divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was
starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while
there starting eyeing the bag boy. On the way out to the car she decided to
make her move. Leaning over to the boy she whispered,” You know, I’ve
got and itchy pussy… ”

The boy replied, “Well you’re gonna have to point it out, ma’am, all
those Japanese cars look alike to me!”

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you’ve been bad or good… so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you’re sleeping… and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

9. Screw the “nice” list – I’ve got you on my “naughty” list!

10. Wanna join the “Mile High” club?

Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:”I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand.” St. Peter
says:”You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in.” The second says:”I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands.” St. Peter:”Wash both your hands and go in.
Suddenly the
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What’s going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in

Q: What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm and a woman’s sex life have in common?

A: They’re both concerned with how many inches and how long it will last.

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