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PART I

13) Although you know the batting average of every New York Yankee, you can’t remember your girlfriend’s dress size or the color of her eyes… or her name.

12) Let’s put it this way: In the “Mr. Hairy Back” pageant, you wouldn’t have to settle for the congeniality award.

11) The makers of “Frozen Meals For One” made you their “Customer of the Year” — again.

10) In your world, nothing says “I love you” like a head butt.

9) You suggest the topic “Top Signs You’re Going to Spend the Rest of Your Life Single,” mistakenly thinking that your equally-hopeless fellow contributors might give you some clue as to what you’re doing wrong.

8) The 6-inch pumps and leather mini may be a bit too risqu

Q: What’s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.

There were two guys walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his nuts.
One of the guys said. “Man I wish I could do that”.
Then the other guy said, “Man that dog will bite you!”!

An old farmer comes running across field screaming. The farmers wife was at the kitchen window wondering what the hell was going on. He rushes in house and says, “Ma, get in bed I got a hard on.”

She slowly gets undressed and gets in bed. He looses his hard on. He gives her a stern lecture, “Next time I come screaming you be in bed ready!”

Two months later here he comes screaming across field. She sighs and gets in bed. He rushes in and says, “Ma you damn sex maniac get out of bed—the barns on fire!”

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards – something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day – “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”



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