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Q: What’s the worst thing about being a paedophile?

A: Having to go to bed so early!

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a shower?

A: The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

1. There are even more positions in which you can do nothing.

2. Nothing is free.

3. You can do nothing with anybody, at any time, and nobody will spread nasty rumors about you.

4. You can eat or sleep while you do nothing, and nobody will be offended.

5. It’s perfectly alright to look bored while you do nothing.

6. While you may get fired for doing nothing at work, you probably won’t get sued for it.

7. Keep those hard-earned pounds — do nothing!

8. No man would dream of forcing a woman to do nothing.

9. The less effort you make, the better doing nothing is.

10. Chances are, you won’t feel the effects of doing nothing nine months from now.

11. Doing nothing when you are inebriated won’t lead to any embarrassing situations later on.

12. Men and women generally take the same amount of time to do nothing.

13. You can do nothing with your kids without getting arrested.

14. You can do nothing in your car, on an airplane, in a school or work desk, in a restroom, on the toilet, in the bathtub, and on a hard tile floor in relative comfort.

15. PMS won’t keep you from doing nothing (thank heavens).

16. Being “in the mood” to do nothing is no big effort.

17. You can do nothing if you are paralyzed from the neck down.

18. There is no point in your life at which you are incapable of doing nothing.

19. People ENJOY getting phone calls when they are doing nothing.

20. Doing nothing will never be a disappointing experience.

Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation
turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says
“We’re Catholic so we can’t use it.”

The next woman says “I am too but we use the rhythm
method.”

The third woman says “We use the bucket and saucer
method.”

“What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?”, the others
ask.

“Well, I’m five foot eleven… and my husband is five foot two. We
make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and
when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from
under him.”

One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.

The first woman says, “Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers.
That means I’ll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend.”

The other woman asks, “Why, don’t you have a vase?”



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