One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.
He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with
On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up
and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed,
they start exploring each other’s bodies.
Things are going fine until the bride discovers her
husband’s penis. “Oh my”, she says, “What is that?”
“Well, darlin”, the cowboy says, “That’s ma rope”.
She slides her hands further down and gasps.
“Oh my goodness. What’s them?” she asks.
“Honey, them’s my knots”, he answers.
Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes,
the bride says, “Stop honey. Wait a minute”.
Her husband, panting a little, asks, “What’s the matter honey?
Am I hurting you?”
“No”, the bride replies. “Just undo them damn knots.
I need more rope!”
Q: What do you get with a corduroy condom?
A: A groovy kind of love.
A man named Mike went over to his friend’s house and rang the bell. His friend’s wife, Nora, answered the door.
“Hi, is Tony home?” he asked her.
“No, he went to the store.”
“Well, you mind if I wait?”
“No, come on in.”
They sat down and shortly Mike said, “You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could see just one.”
Nora thought about this for a second, and thought about how badly they needed the money right now. She opened her robe and exposed one. Mike promptly thanked her and put $100 on the table.
They sat there a while longer, and Mike said, “They are so beautiful! I’d love to see the both of them. I’ll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see both of them together.”
Nora thought about this for a moment, then opened her robe and gave Mike a nice big look. Mike thanked her and threw another $100 on the table. Then he said he couldn’t wait any longer for Tony and left.
A while later, Tony arrived and Nora said, “You know, your weird friend Mike came over while you were gone.”
Tony turned and said, “Good. Did he drop off the $200 he owed me?”
You know you’ve had a good blow job when…
1) You have to pull the sheets out of your butt when she is done.
2) Your pecker has the dry heaves for three days afterward.
3) The head of your pecker is twice the size of your balls.
A young teenager comes home from school and asks her
mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies
come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?”
“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had
finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it.
“But then when I have a baby, won’t it knock my teeth out?”