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How can ya tell when a woman has fucked too much?
Ya put yer thumb in her ass, AND yer middle-finger in her cunt…
Now, if ya can SNAP yer fingers, ya know she’s been fucking too much..

Mongo’s old lady decided she wanted t do
something special to please him on his
birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless
panties.
That night, as he came into the house, she
lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.
“Hi hon,” she purred sexily. “Y’all want
some of this?”
“Hell, no!” he hollered. “Look at what it’s
done to your undies!”

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took
$300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”
“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed MP replied. “You can’t
make a living on that.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on the
side!”

Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around
their ankles. They have their penis’ in a snow bank.

Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, “Boys! Boys!
Whatever are you doing… you’re going to catch pneumonia. Put your
penis’ away.”

The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, “Sister Margaret, don’t
worry, we know what we’re doing. Father Porter always likes a couple
cold ones after work… “

Jon was looking for a little “action”. He picked up a sweet
young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth*
time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of
cigarettes.

On the way out he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in
front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he
couldn’t find “it”.

After a couple of minutes “fishing around” he finally said, “Look,
it’s ok. She’s not here!”



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