Q: What’s another term for cunnilingus?
A: Genital Slurpees.
The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her
full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.
The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.
Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,
his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft
murmurs of assurance.
He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly
released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of
surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh.
He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly
taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements
deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.
Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had
gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy
was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment,
she thought, “It’s too big! – it will never fit!”
Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made
only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met
his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.
And he knew it wouldn’t be long before she returned.
Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again
and again and again…
DON’T YOU JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES?
One neighbor says to the other, “Hey Joe, you have to stop leaving the
blinds on your bedroom open, I saw you fucking your wife.” Joe responds
“The jokes on you, Stan, I was away on a business trip yesterday.”
Q: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says: “This won’t hurt a bit.”
A schoolteacher says, “We’re going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right.”
An airline stewardess says, “Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath normally.”
Q: What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down and use a lubricant.