Boyfriend: Do you smoke after sex?
Girlfriend: Dunno, I’ve never looked
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Boyfriend: Do you smoke after sex?
An Indian chief and his son are sitting down one day, and the son asks: “Dad, how do us Indians get our names?”
“It’s very simple,” replies the chief. “Your oldest brother was born by a river, so we call him Running Brook. Your other brother was born in the early morning, so we call him Rising Sun. Why do you ask Broken Rubber?”
A man needs a room for the night. He stops at an inn and asks for lodgings. The innkeeper says that he doesn’t have any rooms available but there is one big bed in a room that he can share with another man but he must warn him that the man snores so bad that no one can stand it.
The traveler says that would be fine. Next morning he comes down all smiles and tells the innkeeper that he had a great nights sleep.
The innkeeper was shocked and asked the man how he was able to sleep with all that noise.
The man said, “Simple, when I got in the room I leaned over and kissed the man on the cheek and said ‘have a good night, beautiful’. He stayed awake all night watching me.”
Miss Annabelle has just returned from her big trip to New York City and is having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy’s mansion with her Southern Belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound.
“You just wouldn’t believe what they have there in New York City,” says Miss Annabelle. “They have men there who kiss other men on the lips.”
Miss Annabelle’s friends fan themselves and say, “Oh my! Oh my!”
“They call them homosexuals,” proclaims Miss Annabelle.
“They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!”
“Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls. “What do they call them?” they asked.
“They call them lesbians,” says Miss Annabelle.
“They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City,” sighs Miss Annabelle.
“Oh my! Oh my! Oh my,” exclaim the girls as they sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster. “What do they call them?” they ask in unison.
Miss Annabelle leans forward and says in a hush, “Why when I caught my breath, I called him ‘Precious’!”
There was a young man from Peru
A guy died and woke up to find he was in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thought to himself, “I know I led a wild life, but I wasn’t that bad. I never thought it would come to this.”
Looking up he saw that it was his turn to be processed into Hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walked up to the counselor.
The counselor said, “What’s the problem, you look depressed?”
The man responded, “Well, what do you think? I’m in Hell.”
The counselor said, “Hell’s not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?”
The man said, “Sure, I love to drink.”
The counselor replied, “Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. You’ll love Mondays. Do you smoke?”
The man said, “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
The counselor replied, “You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart’s desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?”
The man said, “Well in my younger days I experimented a little; never inhaled.”
The counselor replied, “You are going to love Wednesdays. That’s drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don’t have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?”
The man said, “Yes, I love to gamble.”
The counselor replied, “You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night–black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?”
The man said, “Well, no I’m not.”
The counselor replied, “Oh, Fridays then, uh, will certainly be a new experience for you…”
A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.
He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.
From the new 2000 All GAY Version of ‘Sound of Music’…
Big dykes with small dogs and butches with kittens;
Men who can cook and make great apple strudels;
Men in tight dresses with gold lame sashes;
When the right wing
Doctors and nurses and students and teachers;
Nieces and uncles and sisters and brothers;
Young politicians with courage and vision;
There was this guy. He often went away on trips, far from home, Long trips. While this man was away on his trips, his wife would get very very dissatisfied. Thus, she cheated on him, but when he came back, she felt guilty, so she always told him. Well, after a while, the man got very frustrated with his wife’s adultry, so he went to an adult toy shop. He looked around, but saw nothing special.
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