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Q: What does ADIDAS stand for?

A: All Day I Dream About Sex.

Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald’s?

A: Because it’s always exactly the same and afterwards you swear you’ll never do it again.

A stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas. In the coach were a Texan, a very busty lady, and a greenhorn from the East.

The greenhorn kept eyeing the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, “Lady, I’ll give you ten dollars for a blowjob.”

The Texan was appalled. He pulled out his pistol, shot the greenhorn right between the eyes, and shoved his body out the door.

The lady gasped and said, “Thank you, sir, for defending my honor!”

The Texan holstered his gun and said, “Your honor, hell! Just trying to keep down inflation. Around here, a blowjob goes for two dollars.”

Q: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A: A Tent

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by
herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the
dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said,
“You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?”
The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the
compliment, she said, “You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?”
“Well, I’ve got a hardon, but I didn’t think you could smell it,” the guy
replied.



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