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Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a
condom about to give his wife some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
“Whatcha doin’ Daddy?”
Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the
floor. “Oh, I’m just looking for this big rat I saw.” he says.
Little Johnny asks, “Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?”

A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground.
“That’s strange,” said the fox. “Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree.”
“Listen, bud,” replied the boy squirrel. “Did you ever try to climb a tree when you were in love?”

The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They
got to talk to the
mother superior.
“Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?”
“Sorry”, she replies, “but there are no dwarf nuns here”.
“Well, are there any in the city?”.
“No, there are no dwarf nuns”.
“What, none anywhere in Europe?”
“No, little man”. “None in the entire world”. “Take my word for it”.
At this 6 of the seven dwarves burst out laughing.
The Mother Superior asks “What’s so funny?”. “Dopey just fucked a
penguin”.

The spaceship crashed, but the two glowing Martians survived and set out to find a way home. They walked through the forests, through the fields and finally came into the city. They stopped at an intersection and began to shake and moan at the mere sight of a green light. Suddenly, the light turned from green to yellow and then to red.

Turning to his traveling companion, one Martian said disgustedly, “Let’s get out of here. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a woman who’s a tease.”

Jake is 85, and he gets married to a 16-year-old. He walks into the local
bar when he gets back from his honeymoon, and all the guys want to hear
about his wedding night.
Jake says, “Well, when we got to the hotel, my youngest son carried me up
the stairs, undressed me, and lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so’s
me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of
my sons came upstairs and lifted me off of her.”
The bartender says, “Why did it take three sons to get you off?”
Jake says, “I fought ‘em.”



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