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A naive young girl goes into the doctor’s office. She says, “Doc, I’m
getting married and
I’m a little inexperienced, so I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
He says, “All right.”
She says, “All right… what is that thing that hangs between my

Q: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says: “This won’t hurt a bit.”
A schoolteacher says, “We’re going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right.”
An airline stewardess says, “Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath normally.”

One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.

The first woman says, “Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers.
That means I’ll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend.”

The other woman asks, “Why, don’t you have a vase?”

This little boy walks into a whorehouse with fifty buck in one hand, and a dead duck in the other. He walks up to the madam, and tells her he wants to buy the nastiest, cheesiest, sluttiest whore she’s got!

The madam, a little taken back by this, asks the little boy why he would want such a thing.

So he tells her he wants to catch the herpes.

She asks him what for?

So he tells her, that he wants to catch the herpes, so he can go home and give them to his sister.

The madam, totally flabbergasted, asks him to repeat what he just said.

So he says, “Thats right! I want to catch the herpes, so I can go home and give them to my sister, then she can give them to my dad, then he can give them to my mom and then my mom can give them to the mailman, cause thats the son of a bitch that killed my duck!!!”

Q: What do you have if you put 50 government employees and 50 lesbians in the same room?
A: 100 people who don’t do dick.

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