A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his
friends says to him, “How the hell do the two of you have sex?”
The big guy says, “I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits
on top, and I bob her up and down.”
His friend says, “You know, that don’t sound too bad.”
The big guy says, “Well, it’s kind of like jerking off, only I got
somebody to talk to.”
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.
“Carrie’s not ready yet so why don’t you have a seat?” he says.
“That’s cool,” says Bobby.
Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop and a movie.
Carrie’s father responds, “Why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.”
Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he ask Carrie’s father to repeat it. “Yeah,” says Carrie’s father, “Carrie really likes to screw, she’ll screw all night if we let her!”
Well this just made Bobby’s eyes light up and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:
“DAMMIT DADDY! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST !!!!!!!!”
Q: How do you tell if you’re making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says: “This won’t hurt a bit.”
A schoolteacher says, “We’re going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right.”
An airline stewardess says, “Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath normally.”
Q: What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A: Brown-bagging it.
Jeff and Linda are parked in Lover’s Lane. He embraces her with one arm, and begins to explore with the other hand. Looking over her shoulder, he sees a policeman approaching. “Awwwww Hell!” Jeff murmured, “Fuzz!”
“What did ya expect?” Linda says, “A perm?”