The two East Coast hookers decided to move to the West Coast and while driving through New Mexico they stopped at a little general store. Well, low and behold there were two older Indian women siting on the front porch and the four women started up a conversation.
The one older Indian woman said, “Well I’m a Navajo and she is an Arapaho.”
One of the East Coast hookers said, “No Shit, Well, I’m a New York Ho and she is a Chicago Ho.”
The blind date hadn’t been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said “Hey! You wanna see my underwear?”
Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any.
She glanced down and said, “Nice design, does it also come in men’s sizes?”
The wealthy, high-society mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that
her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and
adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told
her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until
then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, “Oh
Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating a woman!”
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service
by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.
When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying on
the bed. She says, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that the
president of the board arranged for you.”
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the
Temple Board and says, “Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where’s your
respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you
and you have not heard the end of this.”
The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and
says, “Where are you going? I’m not angry with you.”
The clerk showed the fellow the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.”
“Listen,” the fellow shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps; I want something called, “You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!”