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Q: What’s the worst thing about being a paedophile?
A: Having to go to bed so early!

Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
A: The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

Q: How do you know when you have a serious overbite?
A: When beaver starts tasting like shit.

After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more than enuff to drink. Finally, he took the girl of his dreams, whom he had wed after a whirl-wind courtship, by the hand and tenderly began to lead her towards the bedroom.
“Damn!” she muttered, “every stinking time I go out with a guy it always ends up the same way.”

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his
wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and
says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time
he whispers in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?”



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