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Q: How does Herpes leave the hospital?

A: On crotches.

Two gays are standing on a bridge watching ships pass by underneath them.

One says to the other, “What kind of ship is that?”

“Container ship.”

“OK, what’s that one over there?”

“Oil Tanker.”

“How about that one?”

“That’s a ferry boat.”

“Really? I knew we were strong, but I never knew we had our own NAVY!”

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
The doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?”
She said that she did.
He asked, “Does it hurt you?”
She said that it didn’t.
The doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.”
The woman was mystified. She asked “You can get pregnant from anal sex?”
The doctor replied, “Of course. Where do you think attorneys come from?”

Q: How do you make a fruit cordial?
A: Pat him on the behind!

Sex in a boat – oar-gasms.

Sex with a nerd – dork-gasms.

Sex at the entrance to your house – door-gasms.

Sex on carpet or linoleum – floor-gasms.

Sex at the supermarket – store-gasms.

Sex at a Steven King Movie – horror-gasms.

Sex with a prostitute – whore-gasms.

Sex with an accountant – bore-gasms.

Sex while sleeping – snore-gasms.

Sex with 4WDrivers – four-on-the-floorgasms.

Sex with a salesmen – door-to-doorgasms.

Sex with a virgin – my-hymen-got-torgasms.

Premature ejaculators have – beforegasms.

Sex with ‘Arthur’ – Dudley Moore-gasms.

Sex with cartoon donkeys – Eeyore-gasms.

Sex while broke – poor-gasms.

Sex with a lion – roar-gasms.

Sex for hours and hours on end – sore-gasms.

Sex on a golf course – fore-gasms.

Sex with a nymphomaniac – more-gasms.

Sex in a gold mine – ore-gasms.

Sex with a dermatologist – pore-gasms.

Sex with a politician – Al Gore-gasms.

Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers – s’more-gasms.

Sex with a bullfighter – toreador-gasms.

Sex with a masked man carrying a sword – zorro-gasms.

Sex on the beach – shore-gasms.

Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet – smorgasbord-gasms.

Sex on a cruise ship deck – shuffleboard-gasms.

Sex in Asia – Singapore-gasms.

Sex among the wonders of nature – outdoor-gasms.

Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can – odor-gasms.

Sex on the way to the train – ‘All Aboard’-gasms.

Sex that wasn’t very satisfying – ‘There’s the door’-gasms.

Sex in an adult theater – hard-core-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s not paying attention – ignore-gasms.

Sex with a competitive partner – score-gasms.

Sex while flying – soar-gasms.

Sex with a beloved partner – adore-gasms.

Sex with a meat-eater – carnivore-gasms.

Sex with a person who’s got a really bad hairdo – pompadour-gasms.

Sex with someone who’s got bad taste in clothes – velour-gasms.

Sex while travelling – tour-gasms.

Sex with a big dog – Labrador-gasms.

Sex with Beavis and Butthead – ‘GonnaScore’-gasms.

Sex on stairs at the mall – escalator-gasms.

Sex with three of your friends – four-gasms.

Sex with a Norse God – Thor-gasms.

Sex when resistance is futile – Borg-gasms.



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