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* “I was kidding about being sterile, you know.”

* “Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?”

* “How come it’s so BIG in there?”

* “You’ve done this with a lotta guys before, right?”

* “Next time I come over, don’t bother with the underwear, OK?”

* (Sniff, sniff) “Is that CAT food?”

* (Yelling) “OK guys, it’s a wrap, cut, and print it!!”

* “You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!”

* “My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better.”

* “Do you know what a ‘douche’ is?”

* “Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow.”

* “I want you to try some of MY deodorant.”

* “I’m not into relationships. Can’t we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?”

* “Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!”

* “I never saw a girl with hairy boobs before!”

* “I’ve been getting these little blisters lately…..”

* “You wanna do those dishes before you leave?”

* “You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!”

Q: What’s the most active muscle in a woman?
A: The penis.

Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?

A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch!

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?”

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!”

“Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”

A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower.
It’s at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says…

“Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?”

The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back
at the little girl and winks…

“When your mommy goes to the mall!”

© 2015