“Hello?” Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, “Hello?”
“I’ll bet you want me to come into your bedroom,” a male voice whispered
huskily, “… undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until
“Geez,” the woman replied, “you can tell all that from two hello’s?”
Q: What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit and Intercourse?
A: A Certificate of Deposit has significant penalty for early withdrawl.
Q: What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
A: “Stand back …. I don’t know how big this thing is going to grow!”
Uncle Jack and Aunty Mable
Fainted at the breakfast table.
Let this be an awful warning…
Not to do it in the morning.
Ovaltine has put them right,
Now they do it morn and night.
Uncle Jack is hoping soon
To do it in the afternoon.
Hark the herald angels sing,
Ovaltine is a damned good thing!
A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up
to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on
her breath. He says, “I’m going to have to give you the breathalyzer test
to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blows up the
balloon and he walks over to the police car.
After a couple of minutes comes back and says, “It looks like you’ve had a
couple of stiff ones.” She replies “You mean it shows that, too?”