A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. “Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?”
“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But then when I have a baby,” the teenager pondered, “won’t it knock all my teeth out?”
Q: What’s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father Ernie senior, met for lunch.
“Well son,” asked Ernie senior, “How is married life treating you?”
“Not very well, I’m afraid,” sighed junior. “It seems I married a nun.”
“A nun?” his father questioned.
“That’s right,” moaned Ernie junior. “None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!”
Ernie senior nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. “Why don’t we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?”
Young Ernie smiled, “Say, Dad, that’s a great idea!”
“Fine,” replied Ernie senior, “I’ll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates.”
A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami.
“Would you like it sliced, sir?” the shopkeeper asked politely.
“What do you think I am?” replied the gay man. “A slot machine?!?”
Q: What do you call a lesbian that has more than one lover?
A: A bush hog!