A Scottish man was taking a stroll down a country lane, where he meets up with a curious lady. She walks up to him and says, “They tell me that you people don’t wear anything under those kilts.”
The Scotsman says, “Feel and see for yourself.”
So she did and says, “Oh, that’s gruesome!”
He says, “Try it again, it grew some more!”
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet, sensitive men in this world?
A: Because they already have boyfriends!
A redneck brings his daughter to the gynocologist for birth control pills.
The Dr. asks,”is your daughter sexually active?”
The redneck says,”Naw, she just lays there like her mother.
An old man decides to go to his high school’s 50 year reunion. He hasn’t seen anyone since their 25 year reunion and is very interested to see who might show up. When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down at a table and talk about the past 25 years.
“How have you been?” he asks.
“Just fine, just fine,” she replies. “Although I do have some good news and bad news for you.”
“Bad news first please.”
“Well, I had to have a hysterectomy a few years back.”
“Oh, that’s terrible,” he says. “What’s the good news?”
She says, “The doctor found your old high school ring you thought lost.”
If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on,
does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?