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My sex life is a disaster. Last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts.

Q: What is the Australian for foreplay?
A: Brace yourself, Sheila!

Q: And the Welsh?
A: Are you awake, Gwen?

Q: What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
A: “Stand back …. I don’t know how big this thing is going to grow!”

Q: Is it wrong to have sex before you are married?
A: Only if you are late for the ceremony.

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but
the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the
other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the
horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull
yourself up.” And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a
Mercedes!



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