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Q: What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush!!

This man went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said “You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?”

The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, “You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?”

“Well, I’ve got a hard on, but I didn’t think you could smell it,” the guy replied.

Dream on, boys!

* I’ll swallow it all …I love the taste.

* Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

* I’m bored. Let’s shave my little kitty, you big lion king!

* Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!

* God..if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust!

* I know it’s a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

* You’re so sexy when you’re hungover.

* I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

* Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

* Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

* Say, let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.

* I’ll be out painting the house.

* I love it when you play golf on Sunday’s, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.

* Honey, our new neighbor’s daughter is nude sunbathing again, come see!

* I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

* No, no … I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.

* Your mother did a great job raising you.

* Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine’s day thing and buy yourself new clubs.

* I understand fully…our anniversary comes every year. You go hunting with the guys, it’s a wonderful stress reliever.

* Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

* Not the mall again! Come on let’s go to that new strip joint!

* Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don’t you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

* You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

* That was a great fart! Do another one!

* I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you…

Armando went to his neighbor and asked, “Hey Carlos, do you
like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way
out?”

“No,” says Carlos.
Armando asks, “Do you like a woman whose teets hang
almost to her knees?”

“No,” says Carlos.

“Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so
mucho grande?”

“Caramba! No, amigo!” Carlos replied.

“Theen tell me why,” asked Armando, “do you keep screwing
my wife?”

Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.



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