One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom
asked him how his day went. He said, “We’re learning
about sexual education.” She smiled, and said, “At
least he’s learning something usefull.” Billy went up
to his room. A little later, Billy’s mom went up to his
room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and
sees him jerking off. She says, “Billy, when you’re
done with your homework, supper’s on the table.”
There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking along together in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered into the cave… “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and then listened very closely until he heard the answer…”Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” He then tore off his clothes and ran in to the cave.
The Polish fellow was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was that Indian goofy or something.
“No,” said the other Indian. “It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” and get an answer back, that means that she is in there waiting for you.”
Well, just about that time, the other Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” When he heard the return, “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” off came his clothes and into the cave he goes.
The Polack started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw this great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, “Man! Look at the size of that cave! It’s bigger then the ones that those Indians found. There must really be something really great in this cave!”
Well… he took-off up the hill at a super fast speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and hollered, “Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!” He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of, “WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!” Off came his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave.
The next day in the newspaper the head lines read: Naked Polack Run Over By Freight Train!!
Q: What is the definition of an overbite?
A: When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit.
A fellow came to a house with a red light burning in front, so he stepped inside. There was no one in sight and nothing there but an empty bare hallway, with two doors reading “Over 35″ and “Under 35.” He decided to be truthful and entered the door that said “Over 35.”
He found himself in another empty hallway, this one with two doors that read, “Over 8 inches” and “Under 8 inches.”
Truthful again, he went through the “Under 8 inches” door and found himself in another empty hall, with two more doors reading, “Once a night” and “Over 4 times a night.”
Still wanting to be truthful, he entered the door marked “Once a night” and found himself back out on the street.
The moral of this story is, “Always tell the truth and you’ll never get screwed.”
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.