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Q: How do you get Visual Aids?
A: From a nasty poke in the eye.

Brunette after sex: “Oh that was great! Love you… wanna marry?”
Blonde after sex: “Next!”
Redhead after sex: “Better start chewing some VITAMINS, kid.”

“What’s this I hear about you breaking off your engagement?” asked Julie.

“Well,” Sharon confirmed, “Although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired.”

I can’t help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you’ve
heard men refer to their “performance”. Well, even these days I don’t
have a lot of trouble with that.

But… since I’m now past fifty, the “encores” are getting tuffer and

“Hello?” Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, “Hello?”

“I’ll bet you want me to come into your bedroom,” a male voice whispered
huskily, “… undress you, lick you from head to toe and make love to you until

“Geez,” the woman replied, “you can tell all that from two hello’s?”

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