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The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her
full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.

The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.

Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her,
his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft
murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly
released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of
surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh.
He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly
taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements
deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had
gone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasy
was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment,
she thought, “It’s too big! – it will never fit!”
Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made
only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met
his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes.

And he knew it wouldn’t be long before she returned.
Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again
and again and again…


This man went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said “You really smell terrific. What’s that you have on?”

The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, “You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?”

“Well, I’ve got a hard on, but I didn’t think you could smell it,” the guy replied.

A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a
small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider.
“Why do you want cider?” asked Mom.
“To take the pain away,” sobbed the little girl.
Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass.
The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink.
“It doesn’t work!” she yelled.
“What do you mean?” asked Mom.
“Well,” sniffed the little girl, “I overheard my sister say that
whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in

Q: Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Q: What’s a blonde’s mating call?
A: I think I’m drunk.

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