There once was a couple of newlyweds named John and Wendy. John told his wife Wendy that he wanted a tattoo! Wendy agreed and said that would be ok. John did not know what the tattoo should say or where he would put it. So Wendy said, “Well, if you REALLY loved me, you would get my name tattooed on your pecker.”
John couldn’t back out on that one, so he went to the tattoo parlor. The tattoo artist told him that he needed to have an erection while he put it on. After an hour of excruciating pain, the tattoo was done.
As John was on his way home from the tattoo parlor he saw a rest stop and decided he needed to stop and take a leak. He went to the restroom and looked down to admire his tattoo and he noticed, that when he was not erect, the only letters that were visible, were the W and the Y.
Suddenly, a big black gentleman steps into the urinal beside John and John accidentally looked down at the guy and could not help but notice that he ALSO had the letters W and Y tattooed.
So John said “Hey, I guess you have a girlfriend or wife named Wendy too.”
The guys looked confused and said, “What makes you think that?”
John replied “Well I noticed the W and the Y tattoo — so you don’t have a girlfriend named Wendy?”
The black guys laughed and responded, “No mon, that tattoo says, “Welcome to Jamaica! Have a nice day.”
A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch.
“Hi, there, I’m Jerry,” he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, “and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?”
“As a matter of fact there is,” she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. “Do you have change for a dollar?”
Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?
A: It changes their blood type.
Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like were
popular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red
blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from
back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady. The city slicker
kept eyeing the lady, and finally he leaned forward and said, “Lady, I’ll
give you $10 for a blow job.”
The Texas gentleman looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and killed the
city slicker on the spot. The lady gasped and said, “Thank you, suh, for
defendin’ mah honor!” Whereupon the Texan holstered his gun and said,
“Your honor, hell! No tenderfoot is gonna raise the price of a woman in
Two gays are walking down Market street in San Francisco when they spot a stud muffin coming their way. “I hear he is a great lay,” says one.
“No shit?” says the other.
“Well,” replies the first, “Just a little once in a while.”