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Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it! We’re closed…

Q: How can you tell when your house has been burglarized by gays?
A: When you come home, you discover that your jewelry is missing, and all your furniture has been tastefully rearranged.

Q: How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

A: In real life, men aren’t affectionate in bed.

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house
in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a
couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another
couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some
bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house,
and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and
the man asked what kind of a place this was. “This is a
brothel” replied the madam.

“Well, what’s all this out on the lawn?” queried the man.

“Oh, we’re having a yard sale today.”

At an art exhibition, a couple was viewing a painting of three VERY naked, VERY black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on the ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a VERY PINK penis.

While the couple was scratching their heads trying to figure this out, the artist walked by and noticed the couple’s confusion. “Can I help you with this painting?” he asked.

“Well, yes.” said the gentleman. “We were curious about this picture of the black men on the bench. Why is it that the man in the middle has a pink penis?”

“Oh,” said the artist. “I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted the painting. The three men are not Africans, they’re coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went home for lunch!”

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