A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind
of man she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest”, said the
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest”, said the
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with one draggin’ on the ground”, said the
A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, “If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary.”
The guy says, “What’s wrong with her?”
The boss shows him a picture, and she’s hideous.
The boss says, “It’s only fair to tell you, she’s not only ugly, she’s as dumb as a wall.”
The guy says, “I don’t care what you offer me, it ain’t worth it.”
The boss says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary and build you a mansion on Long Island.”
The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.
About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall.
He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”
She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she fetches the hammer.
The guy says, “Get me some nails.”
She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she gets him some nails.
The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Fuck!”
She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president
had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of
his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.
“And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded his
wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
“Down at the office,” he replied, “working like a dog.”
Q: What’s the the definition of a vagina?
A: The box a penis comes in.