Define “Egghead:” What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
10 views |
 |
|
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
To determine your personality check the gift you’d most like to get: 1. Candy If you answered… 1. CANDY It means that… You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share… OR you’re a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that… You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture… OR you get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that… You’re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word… OR you’re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. SEX It means that…You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful… OR you’re a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another. 5. DINNER/DANCING It means that… You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight… OR you’re easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 6. WAFFLE IRON It means that… You’re a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use… OR you have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant sexual fetish involving kitchen appliances.
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, “Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to call the cops!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about miss, that’s just my pay check in my pocket.” “Oh really,” she said. “Then you must have some job, because that’s the fifth raise you’ve had in the last half hour.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
3 cowboys sitting around a campfire. Each one having a busy day and always felt the need to out-do the other cowboy.
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, “Is this a union house?” “No, I’m sorry, it isn’t,” said the Madame. “Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?” he asked. “The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20.” Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop. At the second one, he asked the Madame, “Is this a union house?” “No, I’m sorry, it isn’t,” said the Madame. “If I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?” he asked again. “The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20.” Again offended, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop. His search continued until he finally reached a brothel where the Madame said, “Why yes, this is a union house.” “And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?” he questioned. “The girls get $80 and the house gets $20.” “That’s more like it!” the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. “I’d like her for the night.” “I’m sure you would, sir,” said the Madame while gesturing to a grotesque woman in her seventies in the corner, “But Ethel here has seniority.”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
As he drove along the highway, a guy kept seeing billboards with beautiful, tanned people and the words: Visit the Garden of Hedon. His curiosity got the best of him and he turned off the road at the entrance to the place a few miles down the road. He went inside a building marked “Registration” and saw an attractive woman sitting at a desk. “Exactly what do you do here?” he asked. “It’s quite simple,” said the receptionist. “This is a nudist camp. We take off all our clothes and commune with nature.” “Cool,” said the guy. “Count me in!” So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, “Beware of Gays.” A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing: “Beware of Gays.” He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said, “Sorry, you’ve had two warnings!”
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
The newlyweds showed up at the hotel and asked for the honeymoon suite.
Read all jokes from:Sex (+4815)
These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years. The first guy asks the second guy, “How have things been going?” Second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy, “I w a s a l m o s t m a r r i e d.” The first guy says in amazement, “Hey, you don’t stutter any more.” The answer comes, “Y e s I w e n t t o a d o c t o r a n d h e t o l d m e t h a t i f I The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he was almost married. “W e l l m y f i a n c e e a n d I w e r e s i t t i n g o n h e r p o r c h a n d t h e d o g w a s s c r a t c h i n g h i s b a c k a n d I t o l d h e r t h a t w h e n w e a r e m a r r i e d “Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?” asks the first friend. “W e l l, I s p e a k s o s l o w l y t h a t b y t h e t i m e s h e l o o k e d a t t h e d o g,
Read all jokes from:LGBT (+289)
Did you hear about the three gay guys who attacked a woman?
Read all jokes from:LGBT (+289)
Three gays were discussing what they thought their favorite sport would be. The first decides on football, ’cause of all those gorgeous guys bending over in their tight pants. “Definitely wrestling,” sighs the second guy. “Those skimpy little costumes, and think of the holds.” “Definitely baseball,” says the third guy. “Why? Well, I’d be pitching with the bases loaded, the batter would hit a line drive right to me, I’d catch it, and I’d just stand there while the other guys rounded the bases. Meanwhile the crowd would be going crazy, screaming, ‘Throw the ball, you cocksucker!’ and that’s what I like – the recognition.”
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....