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Read all jokes from:Technology (+1819)
Microsoft is trying to add some humor to its error messages in Windows 2000 and up. Here are a couple of examples: * Printer not responding; Got a pen and paper handy?
Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Violinist: 25 feet Bad Violinist: 50 feet Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet 15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet Accordionist: 60 miles
Read all jokes from:Law (+1197)
Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Read all jokes from:Technology (+1819)
One of Microsoft’s finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: “It’s leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!”
Read all jokes from:HR (+462)
These days, prospective employees can read between the lines of your industrial-aged classified advertising copy. Maybe it’s time you changed your ads. “Just have an eye for detail.” “Competitive salary.” “Must be deadline oriented.” “Join our fast-paced company.” “Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard-working people …” “No phone calls please.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, “Doc, it’s terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it’s odorless and silent, otherwise I’d be mortified. For example, I’ve passed gas ten times just since we’ve been talking, but it’s odorless and silent so you can’t tell.” The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week. The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week. She says, “Doc, there’s been a change but not for the better. I still pass gas all the time, but while it’s still silent, now it smells terrible!” The doctor says, “Well, I’m glad we cleared up your sinus blockage, now we’ll have to work on your hearing.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him “How are you feeling?” The man replies “Not BAAAAD!”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery “Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.” “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness” “Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!” “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?” “Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie.” “Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.” “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?” “Damn, there go the lights again….” “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of them.” “What do you mean you want a divorce?”
Read all jokes from:Blonde (+4660), Policemen (+247)
A blonde was driving her car and she kept turning. Finally, a cop pulled her over and asked her why she was turning in circles. She answered, “Well officer I kept turning but their was a tree always in my way.” The officer shoke his head and said, “Ma’dam, that’s your air freshioner.
Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Lute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.
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