 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Read all jokes from:Policemen (+247)
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
Read all jokes from:Sales (+103)
10. “Safer than a Russian sub.” 9. “The perfect gift for your mother-in-law.” 8. “Because there’s a lot riding on your lawsuit.” 7. “Better than driving around on your axles, right?” 6. “Pop a set on your car today.” 5. “C’mon, did you really expect good tires on a new Ford?” 4. “Reinforcing the importance of the 25 mph speed limit.” 3. “Hey, it’s not like we crashed our blimp or something.” 2. “Best Blow Job In Town!” 1. “You can’t recall a better tire.”
Read all jokes from:Financial (+1217)
An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects. The astrologer says, “Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can’t even reach that proportion”. The econometrician replies, “That’s because of external shocks. Stars don’t have those”.
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
OR WHAT? A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him for the last 7 months. The doc tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doctor asks her what’s wrong and why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband anymore. The wife tells him, “For the last 7 months every morning I take a cab to work. I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me, ‘So are you going to pay today or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’. When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me, ‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’. Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again, ‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’ so again I take a ‘or what’. So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.” The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”
Read all jokes from:Office (+195)
Try these excuses:
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
Dr. Whitcomb was examining a pretty New York high fashion model. “My, you have a big vagina! My, you have a big vagina!” “Oh, Doctor,” retorted the girl, “You didn’t have to repeat it!” “I didn’t!” said the M.D.
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
NUTTY NUTS A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up nuts!” The inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, “Down Nuts!” They all sat. After a home run he yelled, “Cheer nuts!” They all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, “Well…everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, “PEANUTS!”
Read all jokes from:Technology (+1819)
The company CEO has moved from the corner office to the ledge outside the corner office. The manager informs you that the drinks in the company fridge haven’t been free and hands you a $4,800 Snapple bill. The company president asks if anyone has a problem giving out a little astrological advice over the phone while they work. The head of R&D is spending more and more time in the park across street with a metal detector he refers to as his “search engine.” There’s now 10-year-old Indonesian boys on either side of you assembling Nike running shoes. Management is now using copies of the company prospectus exclusively for rolling papers. Next time you see the company’s founder, he is wearing a paper hat and telling you which one is the Diet Coke. The human resources manager informs you that (though it wasn’t spelled out in black and white) giving conventioneers body massages was indeed implied in your job description, and that it could also involve a little “converging,” if you know what he means. You arrive at work to find that all the computers have been replaced with Etch-a-Sketches. Your boss concedes that he might be out of his teens before he’s able to retire.
Read all jokes from:Financial (+1217)
The scene is a conference of professors of marketing. The keynote speaker is an eminent economist. The chairman, who sees himself as a bit of a wag, says, The economist, not to be outdone, replies, “My friend, here, is a marketer. They reverse the process.” A Swedish contribution: “Economics is like red whine – you shouldn’t smell it but drink it, but if you drink too much on one occasion, there is a risk for dizziness”
Read all jokes from:Technology (+1819)
I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel, then I got out all the manuals and went through them. I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....