What is a burning oboe good for?
Setting a bassoon on fire.
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
A Hornplayer is fishing. Suddenly he catches a Fish! But the fish says to the hornplayer: “If you let me go, I will tell you two important things about your future, I have good news and I have bad news for you.”
“That’s a deal”, the horn-player says.
“Well, the good news is, when you are going to die, you will play 2nd horn in heaven, next to Buyanovski!”
“Woooooow!!” the hornplayer screams, “that’s great!”
“Yeah,” the fish says, “but the bad news is that you will have to start tomorrow!”
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How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
Have them miss every other note.
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Violinist: 25 feet
Bad Violinist: 50 feet
Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet
15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet
Accordionist: 60 miles
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Lute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Two drummers and a violinist decide to form a band. The three of them start playing, and the sound is just awful. One drummer turns to the other and says, “We sound terrible. I don’t think this is going to work. Let’s get rid of the violinist.”
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster.
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Why is the Horn called the divine instrument?
Because man blows in but only God knows what’s coming out!
What is the difference between a Horn section and a ’57 Chevy?
You can tune a ’57 Chevy.
What do you get when you cross a Horn player and a goalpost?
A goalpost that can’t march.
How many Horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
“Hey buddy, how late does the band play?”
“Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer.”
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Read all jokes from:Music (+2468)
Late one day a local pub saw six guys walk in, obviously in pairs of two, sit down and order their favorite after-work drinks.
The first two to seat themselves and be served by the bartender were two guys working at a major university whose I.Q.s were so high they could hardly be measured! They began discussing from Quantum Mechanics to the fine points of Particle Physics, either one as brilliantly as the other.
The bartender then went over to the next pair who were “regular guys” with ordinary jobs, with average I.Q.s, schmoozing about how hard it was today to keep up with bill payments, how high taxes were, how corrupt politicians were and all the day-to-day struggles most everyone has.
The last two the bartender served were two very badly educated, ill-mannered dolts with very low I.Q.s that could barely be measured on any I.Q. test. As soon as they’d ordered the bartender overheard one say to the other, “Oh, hey, I meant to ask ya, d’you use flatwound or roundwound on your bass?”
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