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Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I can’t stop singing certain songs. All morning I’ve been humming ‘The Green, Green Grass Of Home.’ Yesterday it was, ‘Delilah.’ Last week I sang ‘What’s New Pussycat?’ at least 100 times! What’s wrong with me?” The Doctor says, “Sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome to me.” The man says, “Never heard of that. Is it common?” Doc says, “It’s not unusual.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
Dentist to Patient: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? I didn’t feel a thing!” Dentist: “I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the five o’clock football game.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
The impotent bus driver goes to see his doctor. He wants some Viagra, but he doesn’t want his wife to know about it. The doctor prescribes it for him, he heads to the pharmacist, who fills the prescription. Home is a good hour away so the bus driver quickly downs one of the little blue pills. When he gets home, he doesn’t even have to tell his wife with words. That twinkle in his eye speaks volumes. They tear off each others clothes and are quickly in bed. He manages to “rise to the occasion” three times. Three times! He expects his wife to be delighted, but instead, she seems rather sad. “What’s wrong, dear?” he asks “I think your job is taking over every aspect of your life and it’s doing you in,” she sighs. “What do you mean?” “I mean, even our sex life is like the bus service. Nothing for ages, and then three come all at once!”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
INSCRIPTIONS Janie went to the doctor complaining of a sore shoulder. The doctor examined the shoulder and couldn’t find anything apparently wrong. She insisted that it hurt. “Well, then, let’s investigate further. What did you do last night?” Janie tells him that her man and her went out to an old cemetery and read some of the inscriptions off of the tombstones. “Well, it may have been chilly there and you caught a muscular cold. Let me make a more thorough examination. Please take off your clothes.” Janie complies, and he checks her shoulder more closely. After a few minutes he said, “There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with your shoulder, but from here it looks like your buttocks have been dead since 1922.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
A man has a terrible accident and has to undergo surgery. When he awakens, the surgeon says, “I have bad news and good news for you.” “What’s the bad news?” “We had to amputate both of your legs.” “And the good news?” “The guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, “Doc, it’s terrible, I pass gas all the time. Fortunately, it’s odorless and silent, otherwise I’d be mortified. For example, I’ve passed gas ten times just since we’ve been talking, but it’s odorless and silent so you can’t tell.” The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week. The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week. She says, “Doc, there’s been a change but not for the better. I still pass gas all the time, but while it’s still silent, now it smells terrible!” The doctor says, “Well, I’m glad we cleared up your sinus blockage, now we’ll have to work on your hearing.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him “How are you feeling?” The man replies “Not BAAAAD!”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery “Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.” “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness” “Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!” “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?” “Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie.” “Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.” “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?” “Damn, there go the lights again….” “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of them.” “What do you mean you want a divorce?”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well,” he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.” “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?” “Yeah, and they’re in favor 15 to 2.”
Read all jokes from:Medical (+1842)
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says “OK,” and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms. Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he’ll take it. He returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms. The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. The guy says, “OK,” and goes back to the drug store and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms. Finally, the pharmacist asks, “Look, if having sex makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?”
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