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Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
Two men on death row were scheduled for back to back executions. On the appointed day, the warden asked each if he had a last request. “Yes, sir,” the first man said. “I’d really like to hear some rap music one last time.” “And you?” the warden asked the other. “Please,” the second man pleaded, “Kill me first!”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, “How did you do over the weekend?” “Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.” “17 people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?” “I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this… O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs.” “That’s admirable,” said the judge. “And you, how did you do?” (to the 2nd boy) “Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.” “156 people! That’s amazing! How did you manage to do that!” “Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles) o O I said (pointing to the small circle) “this is your asshole before prison, …”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
Sadie is arrested for shop lifting. During her trial, which her husband Sidney attends, the judge asks her, “How old are you?”
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5199), Criminal (+41)
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that Moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species.
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
It was midnight and it was a cold night in Golders Green when all of a sudden a burglar alarm goes off. The police are immediately called and surprisingly arrive just in time to catch the thief as he is leaving the jewellers with a bag full of Rolex watches and other valuable items. When he is brought to the police station, the officer on duty immediately recognises him. He is known as Morris the Catman. One week later, Morris appears in Court.
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. “Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious.”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we’re on the 13th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious.”
Read all jokes from:Criminal (+41)
* Inmates who don’t flush after eating chili for lunch. * Inmates who look like the sperm used to conceive them was 100% steroids. * Coming up with one too many during a head count. * Having to break up a fight in the shower. * Being asked to be the bridesmaid when two inmates tie the knot. * Recognizing the newest inmate as your proctologist. * The fact that inmates get more cable channels than you do at home. * Having a new neighbor move in next door who looks wa-a-a-y to familiar. * Being on a first-name basis with a serial sex killer. * Finding a hole in your glove after completing a body cavity search. * Learning that your mother just announced her engagement to # 93A44274.
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