Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
Morris and Bernard met in a restaurant for a business lunch.
Morris said, “I have a good deal for you, Bernard. When I was in London Zoo recently, I happened to pick up an elephant they didn’t need any more. I could let you have it for three thousand pounds.”
Bernard sipped his gin and tonic and said, “Morris, what am I going to do with an elephant? I live in a third floor flat. I barely have room for my furniture. I can’t even squeeze in a card table. So you think I’m going to buy an elephant?”
Morris said, “I could let you have three of them for two grand.”
“Aha,” said Bernard, “now you’re talking!”
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Animals (+5200),
Business (+60),
Parrot (+42)
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and
says: “The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars”.
“Why, does the parrot cost so much?” asks the man.
The owner says, “Well the parrot knows how to use a computer”.
The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything
the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs 2,000 dollars.
Needless to say this begs the question, “What can it do?”
To which the owner replies, “To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!”
56 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60),
Financial (+1218)
There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question “how much is 2+2?”
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced “It lies between 3.98 and 4.02″.
The mathematician said “In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof.”
The attorney stated “In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4.”
The trader asked “Are you buying or selling?”
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice “What would you like it to be?”
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
My husband’s business is rather up-and-down – he makes yo-yos.
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.” “And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”
The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”
12 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
An unscrupulous businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him and backed away, saying, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal.”
“Could you give me a pen and paper?” said the businessman.
“Do you want to write your will?”
“No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite.”
10 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds – now he owes fifty-five million.
18 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
My husband’s business is rather up-and-down – he makes yo-yos.
14 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60)
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.” “And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”
The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”
17 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Business (+60),
Men vs. Women (+5688)
Boss: Why do you want time off next week?
Employee: To get married
Boss: What stupid woman would marry you?
Employee: Your daughter!
26 views |
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