Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Jewish (+6993)
Abe was one of the best talent spotters in the USA. One day, a young fellow walks into Abe’s office and says he wants to break into show-biz, so Abe says “Okay kid, show me what you do.” The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe shuffle, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act and is good enough to impress Abe.
“Great kid! Just great!,” says Abe. “I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on T.V.” (This was the early sixties.) “By the way, what’s your name?”
The young man, proud and excited, exclaims “Penis Van Lesbian.”
“‘S’cuse me?,” questions Abe.
“My name is Penis Van Lesbian” again replies the young man.
“Hey I’m sorry kid, you’re gonna have to change your name, nobody is gonna hire you with a name like Penis Van Lesbian.”
Well the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly refuses to change his name, so he leaves to find another agent.
A few months later he returns to Abe. “Hey kid! Good to see ya again” says Abe, “Are ya still looking for work? Have ya changed your name?”
With his head hanging low the young man replies “Yes. Every agent in town turned me down because of my name, Penis Van Lesbian. So I’ve changed it”.
“Great kid, great! What’s your new name?”
“Dick Van Dyke.”
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Kids (+2426), Men vs. Women (+5688)
Matt’s dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”
10 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Jewish (+6993)
Abe was one of the best talent spotters in the USA. One day, a young fellow walks into Abe’s office and says he wants to break into show-biz, so Abe says “Okay kid, show me what you do.” The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe shuffle, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act and is good enough to impress Abe.
“Great kid! Just great!,” says Abe. “I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on T.V.” (This was the early sixties.) “By the way, what’s your name?”
The young man, proud and excited, exclaims “Penis Van Lesbian.”
“‘S’cuse me?,” questions Abe.
“My name is Penis Van Lesbian” again replies the young man.
“Hey I’m sorry kid, you’re gonna have to change your name, nobody is gonna hire you with a name like Penis Van Lesbian.”
Well the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly refuses to change his name, so he leaves to find another agent.
A few months later he returns to Abe. “Hey kid! Good to see ya again” says Abe, “Are ya still looking for work? Have ya changed your name?”
With his head hanging low the young man replies “Yes. Every agent in town turned me down because of my name, Penis Van Lesbian. So I’ve changed it”.
“Great kid, great! What’s your new name?”
“Dick Van Dyke.”
9 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Kids (+2426), Men vs. Women (+5688)
Matt’s dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”
13 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Kids (+2426), Men vs. Women (+5688)
Matt’s dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”
45 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Light Bulb (+1134)
Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into.
31 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Light Bulb (+1134)
Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Five – one to climb the ladder and the other four to say that should have been me!
A2: One to change it, and 99 to stand there and say “I could have done it better.”
A3: Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.
33 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Light Bulb (+1134)
Q: How many assistant directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she has to check with the director first to make sure he wants the bulb there.
28 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Light Bulb (+1134)
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Depends on what it says in the script
38 views |
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Read all jokes from: Actors (+28), Light Bulb (+1134)
Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Doesn’t the stage manager do that?
31 views |
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