Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.
“This young man agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.
“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.
And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence.
“Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, ” and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”
“Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.
But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”
The wise king did not hesitate a moment.
“The accountant must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.
“But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed the king’s court.
“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law!”
16 views |
|
|
 Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
My mother-in-laws and I were happy for 20 years, then we met each other.
16 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
Two friends meet each other on the street.
“Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.
“Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just burried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
“I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face schratched all over?”.
“It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
24 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105), Women (+407)
A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher.
“Are you a friend of the bride?” he asked.
“Certainly not,” she snapped, “I’m the groom’s mother.”
17 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105), Mouse (+30)
I always know when it’s the mother in law knocking at the door the mice throw themselves in the traps.
21 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
My mother in law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn’t know if he had enough petrol.
13 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: Hunting (+66), In-law (+105)
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband, “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
55 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
Two guys were talking at work.
“I’ve got a problem,” said the first one.
“What is it?”
“My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And, I am fresh out of ideas. I mean, it’s HER mother, why can’t she buy it?”
“What did you buy her last year?” the other one asked.
“Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot.”
“Hmmmm, hard to top that one,” said the other.
The two guys couldn’t come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn’t buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday.
When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, “Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren’t so thoughtful!”
Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, “Well, you haven’t used the gift I gave you last year!”
23 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105)
My mother in law said “one day i will dance on your grave”
I said i hope you do, i will be buried at sea.
15 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
Read all jokes from: In-law (+105), Jewish (+6996)
Solly took his King Charles spaniel dog to the vet. “Doctor Cohen,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
Dr Cohen stepped back in shock, “Solly, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
“Oy vey, my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
16 views |
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....
|
|
