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A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.
“Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury,” concluded the lawyer, “you’ve looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?”

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles! Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”

“Aw come on boy,” the farmer insisted.

“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”

“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon!”

Q: What’s the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?
A: On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin.
A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

English – I Love You

Spanish – Te Amo

French – Je T’aime

German – lch Liebe Dich

Japanese – Ai Shite Imasu

Italian – Ti Amo

Chinese – Wo Ai Ni

Swedish – Jag Alskar Dig

North Carolina,
South Carolina,
West Virginia,
& Kentucky – Nice Chest!

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.

© 2015