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Read all jokes from:Ohio (+3)
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
Read all jokes from:Q & A (+15915), South Carolina (+6)
Q: How do you know when you’re staying in a South Carolina hotel?
Read all jokes from:Q & A (+15915), South Carolina (+6)
Q: How do you know when you’re staying in a South Carolina hotel?
Read all jokes from:South Carolina (+6)
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Read all jokes from:Q & A (+15915), South Carolina (+6)
Q: How do you know when you’re staying in a South Carolina hotel?
Read all jokes from:Texas (+3)
Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, “When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me.” The Texas lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice??” The first woman continued, “When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive.” Again, the Texas lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice??” The first woman boasted “Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.” Yet again, the Texas lady commented, “Well, isn’t that nice??” The first woman then asked her companion, “What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?” The Texas lady replied, “My husband sent me to charm school.” “Charm school!” the first woman cried, “Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?” The Texas lady responded, “So that instead of saying ‘who gives a damn’ I learned to say ‘Well, isn’t that nice?’”
Read all jokes from:Wisconsin (+3)
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled “Survivor-Wisconsin Style.” The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitiwoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minoqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads “I’m a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2004. Deer Hunting is murder and I’m here to confiscate your guns!” The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive wins. Good luck to all contestants.
Read all jokes from:Wisconsin (+3)
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled “Survivor-Wisconsin Style.” The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitiwoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minoqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee. Each will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads “I’m a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2004. Deer Hunting is murder and I’m here to confiscate your guns!” The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive wins. Good luck to all contestants.
Read all jokes from:South Africa (+1)
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. “What seems to be the problem, Madam?” asked the attendant. “Can’t you see?” she said, “You’ve sat me next to a kafir. I can’t possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!” “Please calm down, Madam,” the stewardess replied. “The flight is very full today, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class.” The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her, not to mention many of the surrounding passengers. A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. “Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I’ve spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class.” Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: “It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next such an obnoxious person.” With that, she turned to the black man and said, “So if you’d like to get your things, Sir, I have your new seat ready for you…” At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the man walked to the front of the plane.
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