Q. How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight?
A. He’s the one who bets on the duck.
Q. How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the Cock fight?
A. Well, if the Duck wins, you know they are!
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
If an American ship bears the initials USS meaning United States Ship and a British ship’s name starts with HMS which means Her Majesty’s Ship,what does the Italian DMB stand for?
Datsa Ma Boat.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches?
A. So they can look like their mothers.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna?
She said: “You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
An American woman, a British woman and an Italian woman were having
lunch. The American woman said, “I told my husband that I wasn’t going
to clean the house anymore. If he wanted it clean he would have to do it
himself. After the first day, I didn’t see anything. The second day, I didn’t
see anything. Then on the third day, voila! My husband had cleaned the
entire house!”
The British woman agreed, “I told my husband that I wasn’t going to do
the laundry anymore. If he wanted it done he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I didn’t see anything. The second day, I didn’t see
anything. Then on the third day, voila! My husband had done both his
and my laundry!”
The Italian woman chimed in, “I told my husband that I wasn’t going to
cook anymore. If he wanted home cooking he would have to either go by
his mother or cook for himself. After the first day, I didn’t see anything. The
second day, I didn’t see anything. Then on the third day, I began to see a
little out of my left eye.”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $10,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Italian for using a $500,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $25.36. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?”
The Italian replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for two weeks for only $25.36 and expect it to be there when I return?”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Whats the first thing the father of an italian women does to her fiance?
Pulls out a shot gun
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three
3. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
9. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and turning around to go get it.
12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase would be a hassle and take planning.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2 am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
24. You’re reading this.
25. Even worse; you’re going to forward it to someone else.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Second World War Italian Rifle.
Never used, dropped once, footprint on the barrel.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, “Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”
“And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”
The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS… and write on the envelope, ‘Now you have everything.’”
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