Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates pass St. Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, “Gloria, have you ever had contact with a penis?”
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched with the tip of my finger… ” St. Peter says, “Ok, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates.”
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Catherine, have you ever had contact with a penis?” The girl is a little reluctant but replies,
“Well once I fondled and stroked one.” St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate.”
All of the sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, “Lisa! What seems to be the rush?” The girl replies, “Well, If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Stephanie sticks her ass in it!”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Not embarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history… well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend’s armpit hair
10. Sweating tenors
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
“Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”
“That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest.
“It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man.
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk – you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest.
“Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?”
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654), Over the Hill (+599)
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
“Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”
“That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest.
“It’s worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic by giving me a little lovin’ now and then,” continued the old man.
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk – you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest.
“Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?”
“Of course, my son,” said the priest.
The old man asked, “Do I have to tell her that the war is over?”
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