Whats the first thing the father of an italian women does to her fiance?
Pulls out a shot gun
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
How do Italians teach their children to correctly put on underwear?
Yellow to the front, Brown to the back!
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom and made love.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, “So… you finish?” She paused for a second, frowned, and replied,”No.”
Surprised, the young man reached for her and the lovemaking resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The love making ends, and again, the young man smiles, And again he asks, “You finish?” And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, “No.”
Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to out last him, the young man reaches for the woman again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, “You finish?” Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear, “No! I Norwegian.”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Have you heard about the new Italian tyres?
Dago round, Dago through mud, Dago through snow, Dago everywhere. And when they go flat, Dago Wop, Wop, Wop, Wop!
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over
by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with
his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper
smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do
that? The trooper says, “You’re in Texas, son. When I pull you over,
you’ll have your license ready.” Driver says, “I’m sorry, officer,
I’m not from around here.” The trooper runs a check on the guy’s
license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks
around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger
rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, “What’d you do that for?” The cop says, “Just
making your wishes come true.” The passenger says, “Huh?”
The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say,
‘I wish that guy would’ve tried that crap with me!’
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude. “Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!” the Frenchman said, smacking his lips.So the Italian shot her.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
why do italians ware chains around there neck?
so they know were to stop shaving…
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $10,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Italian for using a $500,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $25.36. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?”
The Italian replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for two weeks for only $25.36 and expect it to be there when I return?”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
What is a five star restaurant in Italy?
It’s one where the chef washes his hands after going to the toilet
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
- You’re 5’4″, can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.
- Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.
- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.
- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
- You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.
- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law’s brother-in-law.
- You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.
- Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your “Just do me” tank top to the beach.
- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
- All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
- A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of “professor” among your aunts.
- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
- If someone in your family grows beyond 5’6″, it is presumed his mother had an affair.
- There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
- You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
- At some point in your life, you were a D.J
- 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say “Pronto” when answering the phone.
- You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone’s thespian greatness.
- Somewhere on your parents’ property, there is a bathtub Madonna.
- You build your house with 3 materials… . brick, brick and wrought iron.
- You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.
- Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.
- It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
- Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, “He shoulda kept his big yap shut.”
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