Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness.” The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table.” The Russian said “That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof’s we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.” “That sounds to good to be true!” the Irishman exclaimed. “Have you actually been there?” “No,” the Russian replied, “but my wife goes there all the time.”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. “Colonel!” he spat out. “Yes, general!” the colonel quavered. “Your troops, your troops,” stormed the general. “They look very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink! Can’t you get them to change their underwear?” He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. “The general, yes, he’s right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with Giovanni…
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat.” I thought you hated Italians?” was the comment as the friend recovered.” Yeh, I do. But even I’ll admit they’re cute when they’re little.”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there?
A: He’s the one with a duck.
Q: How do you know if an Italian is there?
A: He bet on the duck.
Q: How do you know if the Mafia is there?
A: The duck wins.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
It was the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!”When what to my Wanderin’ eyes should appear, But da Don of all elfs, And eight friggin’ reindeer!Wit’ slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!Wit’ a slap to dare snouts, And a yank on dare manes, He cursed and he shouted, And he called dem by name.” Yo Tony, Yo Frankie, Yo Vinny, Yo Vito, Ay Joey, Ay Paulie, Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!”As I drew out my gun And hid by da bed, He flew troo da winda And slapped me ‘side da head.” What da heck you doin’ Pullin’ a gun on da Don? Now all you’re gettin’ is coal, You friggin’ moron!”Den pointin’ a fat finga Right unda my nose, He twisted his pinky ring, And up da chimney he rose.He sprang to his sleigh, Obscenities screamin’, Away dey all flew, Before he troo dem a beatin’.Den I heard him yell out, What I did least expect, “Merry Friggin’ Christmas to all, And yous better show some respect!”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
Unembarrassed to wear fur.
No need to worry about tax returns
Glorious military history… well, until about 400 a.d.
Can wear sunglasses inside
Political stability
Flexible working hours
Live near the Pope
Country run by Sicilian murderers
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult because the ground was hard. On top of that, his only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The man sent a letter to his son describing his predicament.
“Dear Vincent: I’m feeling pretty badly because I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m getting too old to dig up a garden plot all by myself. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over because you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad”
A few days later, he received a letter from his son: “Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie”
At 4:00 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and the local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized profusely to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son:
“Dear Dad, go ahead and plant your tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie.”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Volvo, Video, Velcro.
I came,I saw,I stuck around.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
What do you call a Italian with one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impedement
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Q: where is the highest population of italians in the U.S.A.?
A: in the witness protection program!
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