Why do Italians whistle in the toilet?
So that they know which end to wipe!
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Two guys were walking down the street. One of them was notorious for being prejudice against Italians. Yet when he sees an Italian organ grinder with a monkey dancing, he throws $20 into the monkey’s hat.
His friend, surprised, said, “But people have been telling me for years how much you hate Italians, and here you are giving money to one.”
“Well,” replied the guy, “They are so cute when they are little!”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
What are the three occasions on which an Italian man visits his priest?
His first communion. When he gets married. Before his electrocution!
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Did you hear that the flamingos in Florida have pink cement Italians on their lawns?
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
What do Italians do for foreplay during sex?
They say, “Are you awake?”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
I noticed a big difference between NY Italians and Chicago Poles when I was young: if you told an Italian joke, the NY Italian would probably laugh and tell you a better one. Tell a Polack joke to the Polish guy, and you risked getting your head punched off your shoulders.
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile.
Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror.
He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window.
The trooper, being Italian, seeing who it was, and says, “Just a moment please, I need to call in.” The trooper calls in and asks for the chief.
He tells the chief that he’s got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.
“It’s not Ted Kennedy again is it?” replies the chief.
“No Sir!” replied the trooper, “This guy’s more important.”
“Is it the Governor?” replied the chief.
“No! Even more important!” replies the trooper.
“Is it the PRESIDENT? replied the chief.
“No! Even more important!” replies the trooper.
“Well WHO is it?” screams the chief.
“I don’t know Sir!” replies the trooper, “but he’s got the Pope as his chauffeur!”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkled cookies wafting up the stairs.
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.
Was it heaven?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture.
His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife… “Back off!” she said, “They’re for the funeral.”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. Aftera while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t seen her husband.So the Italian woman goes to aks another saleswoman: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” “No, I’m sorry maam, I haven’t seen your husband.” The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask: “Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He’s got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?” The saleswoman answers: “Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split.” To which the Italian woman answers: “No no no, that’s not-a my tony, he pinch-a the bum, grab-a the breasts but he no lickety split!”
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Read all jokes from:Italian (+654)
Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?He made himself an offer he couldn’t understand.
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