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Italian (+655)
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $10,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Italian for using a $500,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $10,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $25.36. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $10,000?”
The Italian replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for two weeks for only $25.36 and expect it to be there when I return?”
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Italian (+655)
Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags?
A. So Italians can go window shopping.
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Italian (+655)
Q: What happens if all the Italians in the world moved to one side?
A: The earth would be wop-sided.
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Italian (+655)
A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat.” I thought you hated Italians?” was the comment as the friend recovered.” Yeh, I do. But even I’ll admit they’re cute when they’re little.”
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Italian (+655)
In Italy a poll was taken to determine why men get up at night.
Here are the results:
10% to raid the fridge
15% to have a pee
75% to go home
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Italian (+655)
This Italian bloke had never played golf before and so asked for some tips before starting the game. An American player decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball.
The American said, “You take this stick and hit the balls so that they roll into the hole”. The American putted away and sank the ball from 20 feet in a single stroke.
The Italian replied, “In America, you leave your sticka outta and a putta your balls in da hole, but in Italia, we put our sticka inna da hole and leave our balls out”!
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Italian (+655)
A girl sat sobbing in the police station. “I was raped by an Italian.” She screamed.
“How do you know it was an Italian?” the detective asked.
“I had to help him” the girl replied.
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Italian (+655)
What do you get if you cross an Italian with a Jew?
A cleaner who owns the building!
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Italian (+655)
Q. Why is Italian bread so long?
A. So they can dip it into the sewer.
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Italian (+655)
Fix it again Tony
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Frenzied Italians at traffic-lights
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