Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
A Frenchman and an American were seated next to an Italian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.
“Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me.”
“Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,” the American responded, “and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man.”
When the Italian remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, “And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?”
“Once,” he replied. “Only once?” the American arrogantly snorted.
“And what did she say to you this morning?”
“Don’t stop.”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
(must be read with an italian accent)
One day ima gonna malta to bigga hotel. ina morning i go down
to eat breakfast. i tella waitress i wanna two pissis toast.
she brings me only one piss. i tella her i want two piss. she
say go to the toilet. i say you no understand, i wanna piss onna
my plate. she say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch.
i don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
later i go to eat at the bigga restaurant. the waitress brings me
a spoon and knife but no fock. i tella her i wanna fock. she tell
me everyone wanna fock. i tell her you no understand. i wanna fock
on the table. she say you better no fock on the table, you sonna
ma bitch. so i go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits
onna my bed. call the manager and tella him i wanna shit. he tell
me to go to the toilet. i say you no understand. i wanna shit on
my bed. he say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.
i go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “peace on you”.
i say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, i gonna back to italy.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180?
Sicily.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Fix it again Tony
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Frenzied Italians at traffic-lights
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Have you heard about the new Italian tyres?
Dago round, Dago through mud, Dago through snow, Dago everywhere. And when they go flat, Dago Wop, Wop, Wop, Wop!
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Top Ten Hilarious Pranks In The Mafia
10. Tell a guy you’re going to shoot him, then kill him with a brick.
9. Tape sign to informant’s back that reads: “Whack me.”
8. The old “non-drying cement shoes” gag.
7. Put body in big paper bag, place it on somebody’s doorstep, light it on fire, ring doorbell, run away.
6. Phone local teamsters office, say, “This is Jimmy Hoffa–any messages for me?”
5. Call up Domino’s; order a pizza for Mr. Foghead A. Boutit.
4. The old severed finger in the hot dog bun trick.
3. Replace someone’s “Godfather” tape with a Teletubbys video.
2. Instead of horse’s head, rig it so somebody wakes up next to linda trip
1. Three words: squirting pinkie rings.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Three best friends are at the corner bar on a Friday night as usual. One of them is an Italian, one is Black and the other is Jewish.They are sitting around drinking some beers, and they make a wager. They bet who can make love to their wife and make her scream the longest. They agree to return next week and compare.Next week, they all arrive at the bar at the usual time with smiles on their faces. The Italian guy says, “I definitely won. I took my wife out to dinner, bought her roses, then took her home and made love to her. She screamed for an hour.” The black guy says, “Man, that’s nothin’. I cooked dinner for my wife, and for dessert I poured honey all over her and made love to her like never before. She screamed for two hours.” The Jewish guy chimes in, ” I got you both beat. I made love to my wife for 3 minutes, pulled out, then wiped my schmeckel on the curtain. She’s still screaming!”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Q. Who really killed John F. Kennedy?
A. Two hundred Italian sharpshooters.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?
A. The least hairy of the three.
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The
turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck
by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she
wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on
earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like
a WOMAN?”
For a moment there is silence.. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all
stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous : tall,
well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt… one button at a
time…
No one moves…
He removes his shirt…
Muscles ripple across his chest…
She gasps…
He whispers: …
“Iron this, and get me something to eat… “
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