Q. Do you know the difference between an Auburn fan getting run over by a car and an Alabama fan?
A. There are skid marks in front of the Bama fan!!
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
A man walks into a store says to the clerk, “I’d like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes.” The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, “You must be an Alabama fan!” The man proclaims with pride, “How could you tell, was it the color scheme!” The clerk looks at him and says “No, this is a hardware store.”
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Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
* A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
* A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
* Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
* The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
* Arkansas must be pronounced “Arkansaw”
* A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
* Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
* It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
* It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
* No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M.
Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54
* Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
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Read all jokes from:Alaska (+171)
Alaska has only four seasons…
1 – Winter
2 – Mid winter
3 – Late winter
4 – Next winter
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Read all jokes from:Arizona (+117)
Most of these laws are outdated and were relevant to the the times years ago, and simply have not been removed from the books.
State Of Arizona
- Hunting camels is prohibited.
- Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
- There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
- Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
- When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
- It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
- You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
County Of Maricopa
- No more than six girls may live in any house.
County Of Mohave
- A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
City Of Glendale
- Cars may not be driven in reverse.
City Of Globe
- Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
City Of Hayden
- If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
City Of Mesa
- It is illegal to smoke cigarettes with 15 feet of a public place unless youhave a Class 12 liqueur license.
City Of Nogales
- An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
City Of Prescott
- No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
City Of Tempe
- One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
City Of Tombstone
- It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
City Of Tucson
- Women may not wear pants.
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Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya… where ya from, boy?”
The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”
The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in Iowa?”
The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”
The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist?”
The guy says “I mount animals.”
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK boys, he’s one of us!”
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
Q. What do you get when you have 32 Alabamians in the same room?
A. A full set of teeth.
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Read all jokes from:Maine (+24)
* You own more than four pair of gloves.
* every other vehicle is a 4X4.
* camping is allowed it’s only in steel sided campers.
* when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.
* in March your vehicle is 43% mud.
* You leave your keys in your car and the next morning your car is still there.
* You’re on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and somebody stops to help you.
* You can pay for six big macs with a personal check.
* drive by shootings only occur on the evening news.
* Your central heating system is fueled by large logs.
* You see numerous chauffeur-driven dogs.
* You can see the stars at night.
* people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall.
* a deer throws itself under your wheels.
* You got a set of new snow tires for Valentines day.
* more than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
* the term “chill factor” is part of your daily vocabulary.
* the bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
* You only paid $5 to cut down your own douglas fir christmas tree.
* You enjoy a hot chocolate more than you do a margarita.
* a girls basketball game fill’s the school gym.
* You put the car heater on your list of best friends.
* You pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs.
* dressing up means wearing a tie with your flannel shirt.
* You think you’re in a traffic jam when you’re in the second car at the light.
* You don’t use your blinker because everyone already knows where you’re going.
* Your long john’s don’t come off until mid-May!
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Read all jokes from:America US (+264)
He said recently on his show, regarding the judges who declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional:
“So, Your Honor, the Pledge is unconstitutional because it says ‘Under God’. Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at the end of your oath repeated, ‘So Help Me God’ that makes your job unconstitutional! Therefore you have no job, which means your ruling doesn’t mean (expletive)!”
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Read all jokes from:Arizona (+117)
An Arizonan and a Texan were driving through Arizona one afternoon. As they drove down the highway, the Arizonan pointed out the sights.
Pointing out the car window, the Arizonan notes, “Look, over there is a cattle ranch.”
“We have cattle ranches that are at least twice that size in Texas,” claimed the Texan.
They drove on for another hour, and the Arizonan pointed out an area of cotton fields.
“In Texas, we have cotton fields that are much bigger than that,” noted the Texan.
By this time, the Arizonan was starting to get annoyed. Not wanting to be outdone, he continued driving. An hour later, they reached northwestern Arizona. The Texan looks out the window at the Grand Canyon, points, and asks, “What is that?”
Without missing a beat, the Arizonan replies, “Don’t you have irrgation ditches in Texas?”
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