Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, “I’m cutting the next Christmas tree we find – lights or no lights.”
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
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Read all jokes from:America US (+264)
This year’s Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My house is on fire!”
“OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”
“Say, don’t you still have those big red trucks?”
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Read all jokes from:America US (+264)
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alaska!
Alaska who?
Alaska my friend the question then!
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Read all jokes from:Alaska (+171)
Q: What do you call a good looking woman in Alaska?
A: Tourist
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Read all jokes from:America US (+264)
Q. Whats the difference between Alabama and cheerios?
A. One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
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Read all jokes from:Wisconsin (+3)
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled “Survivor-Wisconsin Style.”
The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitiwoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minoqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads “I’m a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2004. Deer Hunting is murder and I’m here to confiscate your guns!”
The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive wins. Good luck to all contestants.
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Read all jokes from:Alabama (+375)
A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened.
Furious, he demanded to see the sales manager, and told him “When I buy a $50,000 car I expect the dang radio to work.”
The sales manager explained to him that the radio had been programmed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear.
He got back into the car and said “Country music,” and old Willie Nelson started singing. “Rock and roll,” he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. “Easy listening,” he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator. He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds.
Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road. “Stupid rednecks!” he screamed. The radio immediately blurted out, “TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!”
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Read all jokes from:America US (+264)
Q. What did the LSU graduate say to the Arkansas graduate?
A. “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?”
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