If you see a four wheel drive pickup truck with a shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to the antenna and a cousin/spouse in passenger seat, you know the car is from Arkansas.
16 views |
 |
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
Processing your request, Please wait....
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
* A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
* A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
* Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
* The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
* Arkansas must be pronounced “Arkansaw”
* A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
* Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
* It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
* It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
* No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M.
Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54
* Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
10 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya… where ya from, boy?”
The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”
The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in Iowa?”
The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”
The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist?”
The guy says “I mount animals.”
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK boys, he’s one of us!”
24 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
The young Arkansas man came running into the store and said to his buddy, Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”
The young Arkansansan answered. “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
17 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
A group of Arky friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.
“Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”
17 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
Arkansas man had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, “I have a flat tarr.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers! ?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either.”
15 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Dilate: Live long.
GI series: Baseball games between teams of soldiers.
Hangnail: A coat hook.
Minor operation: Coal digging.
Node: Was aware of.
Organic: Church musician.
Protein: In favor of young people.
Tumor: An extra pair.
Urine: Opposite of “you’re out.”
24 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
One foggy night, an Arkansas fan and a LSU fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Fayetteville. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The LSU fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I’m lucky to be alive!”
Likewise, the Razorback fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The LSU fan walks over to the Razorback fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.”
The Razorback fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I’m going to see if something else survived the wreck.”
The Razorback fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He says to the Tiger fan, “I think this is another sign – we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Tiger fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Tiger fan hands it back to the Razorback fan and says, “Your turn!”
The Razorback fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I’ll just wait for the cops to show up.”
28 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
ARTERY – The study of painting
BACTERIA – The back door of a cafeteria
BARIUM – What a doctor do when a patient dies
BOWEL – A letter like A, E, I, O, U
CAESAREAN.SECTION – A neighborhood in Rome
CAT.SCAN – Searching for a kitty
CAUTERIZE – Make eye contact with her
COLIC – A sheep dog
D&C – Where Washington is
DILATE – To live a long life
ENEMA – Not a friend
FESTER – Quicker
G.I.SERIES – Soldier ball game
HANGNAIL – Coat hook
IMPOTENT – Distinguished, well-known
LABOR.PAIN – Getting hurt at work
MEDICAL.STAFF – A doctor’s cane
MORBID – A higher offer
NITRATES – Cheaper than day rates
NODE – Was aware of
OUTPATIENT – A person who fainted
PAP.SMEAR – A fatherhood test
PELVIS – A cousin of Elvis
POSTOPERATIVE – A letter carrier
RECOVERY.ROOM – A place to do upholstery
RECTUM – Dang new killed ‘em
SEIZURE – A Roman emperor
TABLET – A small table
TERMINAL.ILLNESS – Getting sick at the airport
TUMOR – More than one
URINE – Opposite of you’re out
VARICOSE – Nearby
VEIN – Conceited
25 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Arkansas (+102)
A truck driver stopped at the McDonald’s in Lonoke and fell in love with the cashier on the spot. Before leaving, he asked her to marry him. Media seemed to hesitate, so he admitted that he was not much to look at.” “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she told him. “You’ll be on the road most of the time.”
18 views |
|
|