Read all jokes from:
North Carolina (+3)
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex:
____ M
____ F
____ Not sure
Shoe Size:
____ Left
____ Right
Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
Spouse’s Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Lover’s Name:__________________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Number that are yours: ______
Mother’s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Father’s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)
Do you
(_) own or
(_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: 196___
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes
(_) No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Color of eyes:
Left______
Right_____
Color of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_) road?
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Read all jokes from:
New York (+9)
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.
‘What for?’ he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, ‘Twenty dollars contempt of court. That’s why!’
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. ‘That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.’
The young man replied, ‘I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.’
24 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Alaska (+171)
Q: If a bear tries to take your fish off your line and takes off running with it, what do you do?
A: Tighten up the drag.
18 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Arkansas (+102)
If you see a four wheel drive pickup truck with a shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to the antenna and a cousin/spouse in passenger seat, you know the car is from Arkansas.
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Read all jokes from:
Alaska (+171)
Fred and his blonde wife went fishing in Alaska.
In the middle of nowhere where the place is filled with nothing but white snow.
They finally found a lake and so they cast their lines.
After an hour or two fred’s wife yelled. “honey come quick i got a bite.”
So Fred rush to his wife only to find out her line is lying flat and can’t see any movement.
So he said “your line not moving hon, no one is biting.
I got a bite”, she insist.
“Where ?” ask Fred.
“My foot, i got a frost bite.”
10 views |
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Read all jokes from:
America US (+264)
Q: What is the favirote Alaskan whine?
A: “I wanna go to Hawaii………”
18 views |
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Read all jokes from:
Alabama (+375)
Q. Did you hear about the Alabama quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
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Read all jokes from:
Alaska (+171)
Q: What kind of money do Alaskans use?
A: Real money or your Visa Card.
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Read all jokes from:
America US (+264)
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.
“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might like to come. About 5:00.”
“Great”, says Tom. “After six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”
As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you…… There’s gonna be some drinkin’.”
“Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.”
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”
“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, Thanks again.”
“More’n likely be some wild sex, too,” says Lars.
“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”
“Don’t much matter. Just gonna’ be the two of us.”
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Read all jokes from:
Alabama (+375)
Two Alabamians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, what’cha got in th’ bag?”
“Jus’ some chickens.
“If I guess how many there are, can I have one?”
“I’ll give you both of them.”
“OK. Ummmmm…… five?”
16 views |
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