Read all jokes from: Ethnic (+693)
Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese, and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.
“You, your companies, and your countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?”
The Englishman spoke first. “Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing “God Save The Queen” to all your men.”
“That can be arranged,” said the terrorist.
The Frenchman said, “And I want to honor my country before I die by singing “The Marseilles” to your men.
“The Japanese said, “Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Japanese style of industrial management.”
The terrorist turned finally to the American. “What is your last request?”
The American replied, “I want you to kill me right now so I don’t have to listen to another lecture on the Japanese style of industrial management!”
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Read all jokes from: America US (+264)
Three old sourdoughs were sitting around a blazing campfire exchanging tall tales about how tough they are.
“I was hiking through some willows,” begain the first sourdough, “when 10-foot tall bull moose with a 90-inch rack stormed out of a thicket and charged me. I grabbed him by the anlters and wrestled him to the ground and beat him senseless.”
“That’s nothing,” said the second. “I was fishing in the Yukon River when a 2000-pound grizzly bear came after me and my catch. I ducked as he swiped at me, jumped on his back, and strangled him with my bare hands. I then skinned him with my bare teeth.”
They all turned to the third sourdough, waiting for his story. He didn’t say anything – just sat there stirring the coals with his bare hand.
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Read all jokes from: Irish (+51)
An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick. Included in the price was a certificate of the skull’s authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself.
Ten years later the tourist returned to Ireland and asked the antique shop owner if he had any more bargains. “I’ve got the very thing for you,” said the Irishman. “It’s the genuine skull of Saint Patrick”. “You swindler!” shouted the American. “You sold me that ten years ago,” and, producing the skull, added, “Look, they’re not even the same size!”
“You have it all wrong,” said the Irishman. “This is the skull of Saint Patrick when he was a lad.”
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
Sadie and iriam are walking home one night when they are approached by a stranger who flings open his raincoat. Miriam raises one yebrow, turns to Sadie and asks “Call that a lining?”
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
The test
Just before the class took their O-level maths exams, their teacher asked them the following problem to test how well they would do in the real exam: -
“A rich man dies and leaves $240,000,000 in his Will. One-third is to go to his wife; one-fifth is to go to his son; one-sixth to his chauffeur; one eighth to his secretary; and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
After a long silence in the classroom, Saul raised his hand.
“Yes, Saul,” said the teacher.
“A good solicitor!” he replied.
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
Overheard on the street in New York: a man with a long beard, black clothes, black hat and payes on a cel phone stating, “I am at your service 24/6.”
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Read all jokes from: Italian (+654)
What do you get if you cross an Italian with a Jew?
A cleaner who owns the building!
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
Sadie is out shopping in Brent Cross shopping centre when she bumps into Becky, an old friend of hers. Becky is looking after her two grandchildren whilst their mother does some shopping on her own.
Sadie says, “Oh Becky, what beautiful children, how old are they?”
“Well,” Becky kvelled, “the lawyer is 6 months and the doctor is 2 years.”
(‘Kvell’ – verb: to gush with pride – ‘I kvelled over my son’s accomplishments.’)
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The red-head in the middle.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
“I don’t like her.”
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Read all jokes from: Jewish (+6991)
What is the differance between an orthodox, reform and a conservative jewish wedding?
at an orthodox wedding the mother of the bride is pregnant.
at a conservative wedding the bride is pregnant.
and at a reform wedding the rabbi is pregnant.
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