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Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth? Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves. Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line? Student: Yes, Sir. Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes? Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
Read all jokes from:School (+377)
It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students. “What did you do this summer?” the teacher asked Suzie. “Me and my family went to the beach a lot,” Suzie answered. “That sounds like fun,” said the teacher. “How about you, Emma? What did you do this summer?” “Me and my family rode our bikes together.” “That sounds lovely,” said the teacher. She continued with all her pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room. “What did you do this summer, Mikey?” “Nothing,” the boy responded timidly. “Did you do anything with your family?” the teacher asked, trying to draw Mikey out. “Yes.” “Did you go to the beach?” “No.” “Did you ride bikes?” “No, never!” the boy burst out. “We can never ride bikes together!” “Why not?” said the shocked teacher. “I don’t know,” explained Mikey, “but dad always said, when then mom and sis start ‘cycling together’, it’s time to get the hell out of town.”
Read all jokes from:Little Johnny (+647), School (+377)
A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny. So she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”
Read all jokes from:College (+414)
Twas the night before finals, Out in the taverns, My roommate was speechless, I stared at my notes, I’d nearly concluded His spirit was careless, His message delivered,
Read all jokes from:School (+377)
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Read all jokes from:College (+414)
A- Alcohol: The key to surviving college. B- Beer: It’s whats for dinner. C- Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party. D- Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic. E- Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party. F- F*cked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out. G- Games: Anything that involves cards, quarters and chugging beers. H- Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank. I- Ignorant: The way you act after drinking WAY too much. J- Jail: Where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home. K- Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers. L- Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol. M- Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying. N- Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t know. O- Oh shit!: What you say as you’re falling down the stairs. P- Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer. Q- Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning. YUCK! R- Reform: What you promise god you will do while you’re puking in the toilet. S- Sex: What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk. T- Twenty-four: The number of beers it takes to get drunk. U- Underage: Most of the drinking population in college town. V- Vodka: The mother of all alcohols and the best way to make Jello. W- Worm: The part of Tequila that that you don’t mind eating after you’ve consumed the whole bottle. X- X-Ray: How they can see into your stomach before they pump it.(detox) Y- Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end. Z- Zima: Zomething Different.
Read all jokes from:College (+414)
Twas the night before finals, Out in the taverns, My roommate was speechless, I stared at my notes, I’d nearly concluded His spirit was careless, His message delivered,
Read all jokes from:College (+414)
The ‘Blood of Christ’ would be switched from red wine to keg beer. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning: cold! The Ten Commandments would actually only be five, double-spaced, and written in a large font. There would be a new edition every two years in order to limit reselling. The Forbidden Fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t dorm food. Paul’s Letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s E-Mail To: abuse@romans.gov Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon. Out go the mules; In come the mountain bikes. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like Freshmen. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
Read all jokes from:College (+414)
Several colleges have started a pilot program that uses a simple group experiment with Legos as a replacement for the standard admissions test. The group must recreate a model of a robot in the next room, with only one team member allowed to view the robot at any one time. Since different schools have different admissions requirements, the test has been generalized to meet the requirements of various schools: ENGINEERING COLLEGE: Build a real, working robot out of Legos. LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE: Pick your favorite color of Lego block. CULINARY COLLEGE: Bake an Eggo that no one would want to Lego. COMMUNITY COLLEGE: Ring this box of Legos up on a cash register. FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY: Steal as many Legos as possible.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Demote: What de king put around de castle. Despise: De persons who work for de CIA. Detention: What causes de stress. Dictator: Another name for Richard Spud. Dilate: When a person lives longer. Dioxin: What you say before you kill a herd of buffalo-like cattle. Dreadlocks: The fear of opening the dead-bolt.
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