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Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, “What did you do at school today?” The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, “Nothing”. Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, “Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?” The perplexed child looked at his father and said, “Daddy, didn’t you go to school when you were a little boy?”
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound “How much does that come to?” asked Larry. “Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents.” “If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?” said the boy. “Seven dollars and sixty-four cents,” stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions. Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, “I don’t want to buy the items…that’s our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it.”
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. “It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said. “Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.” The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?” “Yes, indeed,” said his guide. “He wrote a check.”
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth? Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves. Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line? Student: Yes, Sir. Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes? Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Your first job will be to sweep the floor. But I’m a college student the young man replied. In that case give me the broom – I’ll show you how.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Actual Rules for Teachers (circa 1915) 1. You will not marry during the term of your contract. 2. You are not to keep company with men. 3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. unless attending a school function. 4. Your dresses must be not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle. 5. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the (school) board. 6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother. 7. You may not dress in bright colors. 8. You may under no circumstances dye your hair. 9. You must wear at least two petticoats. 10. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
Sometimes, when I’m in class, I dream that I’m on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree. Some soft gentle music is being played on traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I’m in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier without everyone yelling at me to keep teaching.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
When the new school year started the history teacher was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asks the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knows this. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest and takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, “I am a Cherokee. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says, ‘Son, you see all this land. This is Cherokee land.’ So, I know I am a Cherokee.” The teacher says very good and asks the next little Indian boy to stand. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest and takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, “I am a Comanche. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says, ‘Son, you see all this land. This is Comanche land.’ So, I know I am a Comanche.” The teacher is growing more excited by the moment and asks the last little Indian boy to stand up. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest and takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, ” I am a Fuckawee.” The teacher looks dumbfounded and says, “I don’t think there is any such tribe as the Fuckawee.” The little boy says, “My Father and I walked for many days and many nights. And many nights and many days. We ran out of water, but we kept walking. With no rest, we were getting weary. Finally, one day my Father stops and with his hand to shield the sun from his eyes, looks around and said, ‘Hummmm, where the Fuckawee.’”
Read all jokes from:Student (+358)
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?” Again, no response except from Toshiba: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.” The teacher snapped at the class, “You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do.” As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: “Damned Japanese.” “Who said that?” she demanded. Toshiba put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982,” he said.
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